Communication

As a woman, it can be particularly challenging to make yourself heard within an organization. Females can sometimes be less assertive than men, and may not speak up as much in meetings or other group settings. This is why presentations – whether it’s a weekly work-in-progress meeting, a monthly sales report or a keynote speech at a conference – are so important. They give you the chance to demonstrate your authority, confidence and professionalism to your colleagues, thereby confirming your reputation as a thought leader within your business. Unfortunately, presentations are for many women a handicap rather than an asset – and PowerPoint slides could be part of the problem.

There are several reasons why you tend to rely on PowerPoint, but many organisations are moving away from it in their meetings so you need to move with the times. With this being said, let’s bust the 5 myths about relying on PowerPoint in your presentations, and show you how to get everyone sitting up and paying attention.

Myth no. 1: ‘PowerPoint helps me structure my presentation’

When preparing for a presentation, many people take a back-to-front approach, diving straight into PowerPoint and putting all of their content onto slides first, and worrying about the structure later. ‘Having all the content in front of me helps me organise my thoughts better,’ you might tell yourself. But this approach can lead to presentations that meander around the core message, and can leave the audience feeling unconvinced or, even worse, confused. There are, in fact, several steps you should take before you even turn on your computer, to make sure your presentation is as powerful as possible.

The very first thing to consider is your audience: who are they? And what are their pain points? It’s important to do your research – if you’re presenting to a potential client, you might check out their website and LinkedIn page; if you’re presenting at a conference, you might ask about the typical demographic of the attendees.

Once you have a good idea of who you’re talking to, the next question to ask yourself is, ‘What is my core message?’ What do you want your audience to do or think as a result of your presentation? You should be able to summarise this in a single sentence – this then becomes the overarching theme of your presentation.

Once you know your audience and you’ve got your overarching theme, only then can you begin to think about your structure. But don’t reach for that power button just yet – I recommend good old-fashioned pen and paper for this step. Think back to your audience’s pain points and try to address these. Ask yourself, ‘Why should they care about what I’m talking about? Why is what I’m talking about important to them?’ Consider what information your audience needs to be persuaded to your point of view, and try to condense this into two or three key points if possible – no more than five. Your audience may struggle to retain more than 5 key points after your presentation.

Then consider what information you have to support your key points. This may be facts, statistics, examples, analogies or recent stories – try to relate to your audience here, as this will make your message resonate more.

A useful way to organize your structure is using a logic tree, which forces you to stay on-message.

Once you’ve decided on the best structure, you can then think about how many PowerPoint slides you might need to make your case effectively – or whether you need them at all!

Myth no. 2: ‘The more information I fit onto my slides, the more knowledgeable I will appear’

Trying to fit as much information as possible into a presentation, or ‘content cramming’, is a very common mistake. You may think it makes you look like more of an authority on the subject at hand, or that you’re ‘covering your bases’ by addressing as many points as possible. But, the reality is, people’s mental capacity is limited, and all that content cramming achieves is cognitive overload, thereby diluting your message and influence.

Content cramming: a big no-no

As The Colin James Method®’s co-founder and facilitator, I’ve seen it all and honestly, I believe content cramming is the refuge of the insecure. There is a constant stream of information bombarding your audience every day, they don’t need more… they want you to help them create meaning from the information and work out how to apply it to make a difference in their world.

Knowing what to leave out is just as important as knowing what to include, and this is where knowing your audience comes in. When considering whether to include something, ask yourself, ‘Does my audience care about this?’ If the answer is ‘No’, then get rid of it. This helps you to present relevant and useful insights to them. It’s also a massive confidence booster to know that you’ve got information that will help people to avoid a pitfall or gain some advantage.

Myth no. 3: ‘PowerPoint slides help me remember what to say’

You have likely heard the phrase ‘Death by PowerPoint’, and treating your PowerPoint as a script is a sure-fire way to a slow and painful demise for you and your audience.

You may think that reading from your slides is a good way to reinforce information; this, however, has the effect of distancing your audience rather than engaging them. You may also feel like it is a good way to make sure you don’t miss anything important, but think about this: if you can’t remember your presentation, and you’re the one who is familiar with the subject, how can you expect your audience to?

Breaking down your presentation into bite-sized chunks will not only help you stay on point and communicate your core message with confidence, but it will also help your audience digest what you have to say.

Myth no. 4: ‘PowerPoint slides will distract people from my less-than-stellar presentation skills’

If you’re not feeling super confident, it can be tempting to hide behind your PowerPoint slides, so to speak. But your delivery will heavily influence how your presentation will be received. If you don’t appear confident, people will assume you are not confident about your message and will be less likely to be persuaded by what you have to say. And all the flashy graphic effects in the world aren’t enough to mask a poor delivery.

The only solution? Learn the skills of a good presenter and practise, practise, practise.

Once you’ve got your structure down pat, practise delivering your presentation out loud. Avoid trying to write out a speech word for word, which can make you sound unnatural and stilted; instead, use your key points as prompts and imagine trying to speak to your audience directly. You’ll find after a few dry runs that you’ll start to sound knowledgeable and unscripted.

While you’re practising, think about your voice: your pace should be measured, your pitch should be low and calm, and you want to be able to project your voice to the back of the room. Think about your body language too: try to make eye contact with everyone in the room at some point, use the available space to keep up energy and attention, and use hand gestures to visualise your points.

Myth no. 5: ‘Presenting information visually on PowerPoint slides helps with audience retention’

This is not necessarily a ‘myth’, but it’s not the gospel truth either. PowerPoint can be a great tool for presenting visual information – but it may not be the best one for your particular presentation.

When you’re considering the point you’re trying to make, try to think outside the PowerPoint box. Is it best illustrated by drawing a diagram on a flipchart or whiteboard? Could you use a prop? Could you ask the audience to participate in an exercise or discussion? Being creative with how you communicate can have a marked effect on audience engagement and retention.

If you do want to use slides, we find that they work best if they support your verbal presentation with evocative images, numerical graphs and tables, or video clips.

Try it for yourself!

As Sheryl Sandberg writes in Lean In: “Feeling confident – or pretending that you feel confident – is necessary to reach for opportunities. It’s a cliché, but opportunities are rarely offered; they’re seized.” So take these tips, and seize the opportunity to make a lasting impression at your next presentation. You could even challenge yourself to present without the crutch of PowerPoint slides – you might be surprised by the results!

Erica Bagshaw is an entrepreneur, Executive Coach and Co-Founder of The Colin James Method® and Inner Profit Pty Ltd a vibrant leadership development company in Australia. She has spent the majority of her career growing and developing close client partnerships. She loves sharing her expertise on the all things communication.

I was headed for my standing appointment with my OB. Super exciting, I know. As I hopped in the elevator, two women joined me right before the doors slid shut. Cue the awkward silence, the nervous clearing of throats, and the eye-contact-avoidance-at-all-costs we all know so well.

Except not.

As the ladies entered, I looked at them and smiled. They smiled back. “Whew, just made it in!” said Lady #1. I laughed and said “Those doors sure close fast, don’t they!? You have to be a sprinter to make it!”

The joking went back and forth for a few moments before the doors hissed open. “Have a great day!” I called as I exited, and a hearty “you too!” was delivered in return. With a smile, I strolled into the waiting room, ready to have my lady bits thoroughly examined. #ladylife

Now, I heard what you’re thinking. “Ok, cool story. But what does this have to do with me and my career?”

OMG, I’m so glad you asked.

Why The Elevator

When I was headed to the OB, I could have just kept to myself, silent in the elevator corner, then bolted as soon as the doors opened. Instead, I chose to step out of my own little world and engage with someone else.

Genuine human interaction is crucial to your career. You and your brand can’t thrive on your own, you need others to believe in you, champion you, and share it with everyone they know. Connecting with others is a skill worthy of daily practice, and the elevator created the perfect place for me to do it.

Here are a few reasons why you need to make the elevator your new BFF.

It’s a melting pot.

The elevator is one of the most interesting petri dishes of society. It puts you in contact with a huge variety of people, many of whom you’d never normally interact with.

What do the rich and poor, CEOs and interns, entrepreneur newbs and mega investors all have in common? They all ride elevators.

For a bizarrely magical minute in time, worlds collide in a peculiar metal box. It’s the best learning opportunity for human interaction ever, and you can harness that power into something that makes you (and your career) unstoppable.

As an entrepreneur, you need to boldly take risks, know who you are and what you have to offer. Your success requires you to build a tribe of people who champion you and your brand. The only way to do that is by building connections, and the only way to do that is by talking to people.

Being able to chat with new people in a relaxed, genuine way is the gateway to growing your tribe wherever you go.

You never know who you’ll wind up sitting (or standing) next to and what role they might play in your amazing story. Don’t miss out on it!

It’s the perfect place to practice.

When you’re working on a new skill, overthinking is your worst enemy, but the elevator provides a great antidote to that. Because you’re only in an elevator for a few moments, you don’t have time to think, you just have to go for it!

Use your elevator time to practice connecting with strangers. Conquering your fear of making the first move will not only give you killer confidence, it will score you a mega advantage over other connection-seekers. If you’re not afraid to initiate, you’ll quickly gather the big players into your circle while the timid wannapreneurs hang back and watch.

As soon as you (or they) enter the elevator, make your first move. The longer you wait the more awkward it becomes, so don’t wait!!

One of my favorite strategies to use is The Compliment Intro. It’s fantastic at breaking the ice and creating an instant “buddy zone” vibe. Using a compliment to spark a convo is one of the easiest and least threatening tricks. Who doesn’t like a compliment?!

“I really love your shoes! Where did you find them?”

“Your handbag is amazing, it looks like it would go with anything, does it?”

“I just have to ask: your hairdo is flawless, how do you do that?”

Once you’ve got their attention with your opener, do your best to engage them while putting them at ease. It doesn’t have to be more than a few comments back and forth (that’s all you have time for anyway).

When you praise someone, even for a small, seemingly inconsequential thing, the vibe becomes lighter and less intimidating. This fosters a connection that couldn’t have existed before, and if you get to that point, you’ve reached your goal. Plus, complimenting someone not only boosts their self esteem, it builds up your confidence at the same time! You become bolder and more sure of yourself, and that’s a win-win.

A compliment isn’t the only way to start a convo. Maybe you bond over both barely making it inside before the elevator doors closed. Maybe you make an observation about your mutual surroundings. Are you both are wearing skirts? Perfect time to say, “Skirt Day! Looks like we both got the memo! *laugh*”

There are a million ways to start an interaction, so don’t be afraid to try something that’s genuine to you. It doesn’t have to be complicated or scripted out, but interacting in and with your environment can be a powerful connector.

Yeah, it feels weird at first, but here’s why that shouldn’t freak you out…

It’s a zero-risk zone.

Here’s the thing. Practicing a new skill is always a little awkward because you’re not a pro yet. Don’t even stress about it – the elevator is the perfect place to try out your new moves!

The people who enter elevators are, for the most part, total strangers. 99% of the time, you’ll never see that person again in your life, so there’s no reason to sweat about practicing on them. If something doesn’t work or falls flat, let it go and try something new next time. Think of the elevator as your own personal laboratory.

Reminder: While it may not seem like it at first thought, often times it’s actually less awkward to acknowledge someone’s presence in some way than it is to just stand there silently.

A great skill to hone in the elevator is reading people’s body language. Pay attention to how people physically react when you try new things. When you say X, do they seem to react positively or negatively? How about when you say Y? Use that feedback to shape how you interact and what phrases or openers you try in the future. Don’t get discouraged though, it’s a learning process!

Being an entrepreneur is all about taking risks, but this is a perfect time to sharpen your skills without having to risk anything. Even if you do mess up, the doors will open and the person will leave, giving you a clean slate. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from growing and succeeding!

What have you got to lose? (Spoiler alert: Nothing.)

Going Up…

Your ability to form genuine relationships will make or break your career dreams, and being able to break the ice and connect with new people is the first step in sharpening that skill.

Regularly interacting with new people not only strengthens your relationship-building skills, it rapidly grows your network as well. As an entrepreneur, your brand depends on others championing and sharing your work, so solid connections are key players in your success story!

Using the elevator as a safe place to grow and learn will pay off big time. If you’re not afraid to approach people, make them feel valued and included, and confidently be yourself, there is literally nothing standing between you and success.

Save the workout for the gym. Embrace the elevator.

Hannah Brooks is a networking relationship coach and founder of The Leading Lady, empowering ambitious female entrepreneurs to grow killer networks and thriving careers through the power of genuine relationships. She’s also a laughter addict, foodie, and lover of community. In her spare time, she trots the globe with her husband and son, and has a slight obsession with chocolate milk.

Need more help harnessing the power of small talk? You can download her FREE 36-page guide: “The Female Entrepreneur’s Ultimate Guide to Small Talk” and start building genuine relationships, killer connections, and a thriving career!

We are in a transition of truthfulness. Technology has changed the way we think about what’s real and what’s been modified – creating blurry lines between perceptions and reality.

For example, credit card “safety” no longer includes a traditional pillar of safety – privacy. Credit card safety is now achieved through predictive analytics and constant monitoring of purchases; quite the opposite of privacy.

Technology has modified how we perceive safety with car services – for many of us, a navigation and tracking system like the ones found in popular ride-sharing services makes us feel safer than a taxi driver who has passed a background safety check. It is hard to determine which is the more authentic version of safety.

Another example of how technology has modified the truth is photo filters. With the touch of a button, a photo can easily be manipulated and shared with millions of people. While a flower crown or a puppy face is a fun addition for social media pictures, what happens when filtered photos are presented as real and passed around social media channels, gaining legitimacy with every click, like and share? Combined with our ever-decreasing attention spans and memories that are increasingly dependent on the content we share via social media, and photo filters become a variation on reality, an inch further from an authenticity.

As we move away from privacy and authenticity and become easily modifiable, we lose the honesty and benefits of being honest – trust, reliability, loyalty. Without honesty, companies lose their personal connection to buyers, their internal teams are not efficient, and their business partnerships don’t last. Loyalty becomes obsolete. As business leaders, it is our responsibility to encourage truth so that honesty is a core value to our internal team and our customers.

How can we encourage honesty within our organization? By removing the pitfalls that distort reality and creating opportunities for genuineness.

Create a safe place

I don’t mean an office that meets required occupational safety standards, I mean an environment that is a safe place for people to learn and grow in their roles. Encourage colleagues to share their mistakes, how they overcame the mistake and the lessons they learned. Help teammates teach each other by encouraging them to provide constructive feedback in a productive way. Focus on problem solving, and not blaming individuals, to help the team develop integrity. As the leader, it is also important for you to disclose your own mistakes and lessons learned to help the team recognize that mistakes as learning opportunities and not punishments.

Empower employees

People feel more empowered when they are trusted. Give your team assignments and deadlines, time to work and the ability to ask questions, then give them space to do their job. Eliminating micromanagement practices help employees feel respected and motivated to complete their work while building pride and integrity.

Do not make promises that can be broken

Your words have tremendous value, so don’t sacrifice them. As a business leader, you have the knowledge and experience to anticipate potential problems. Review business plans with a watchful eye on timing and pricing, guarantees and other promises customers will count on. Set realistic expectations with your internal team about promotions, raises and bonuses. Do not give lip service to the executive team. Breaking promises, resetting expectations and over committing leads to disappointment, which deteriorates trust and your words lose their value and your reputation as reliable.

Don’t sacrifice values

Honesty is perhaps best tested in crisis. Leading with honesty and truthfulness to do the right thing, even if it’s extra work or the outcome is intimating. If the crisis is handled with honesty, the virtue of honesty will be stronger than ever when its resolved. If you try to cover up the crisis, a downward spiral of dishonesty and lies will begin.

Be transparent

This doesn’t mean disclose classified or time-sensitive information, but be upfront in a timely, open manner. If the product is delayed, be truthful about when it will be delivered. If a service is cancelled, offer a reliable alternative. If expectations for a product or service can’t be met, don’t try to conceal the situation. Challenges will be overcome, but an untrustworthy reputation is nearly impossible to overcome. Being transparent creates a culture of honesty where rumors cannot thrive and truthfulness raises to the top.

Be consistent

One of the most obvious indicators of untruthfulness is inconsistency. As Mark Twain said “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” While important aspects can be tailored to each audience/group, putting truthfulness at the forefront of every conversation will leave no room for doubt. Consistency is a key aspect of building and maintaining trust.

Be authentic

When you think about mentors and leaders that have resonated with you the most, you will likely notice a common theme – the most aspirational people we encounter have shown us their true selves. Be that relatable person for your team; transparent and filter-free without pretense or ulterior motives.

In our pursuit of honesty, we can help create more defined lines between perceptions and reality. We develop into a more trust-worthy company, which helps build customer loyalty and in turn, helps our products and services succeed.

Jennifer Davis is the chief marketing officer for the international business of Leyard, including the Planar and Runco brands. She is a senior executive who uses entrepreneurial skills to build high-performing businesses, product lines, and go-to-market strategies. Davis has spoken at marketing, design and technology conferences, including InfoComm and the Digital Signage Expo, and is a regular contributor to industry, technology, and business publications globally. Follow her on Twitter @jenniferdavis or visit www.atjenniferdavis.com.

Between Samsung explosions and Volkswagen recalls, FIFA’s racketeering and Wells Fargo’s fake accounts, some of the most recent corporate scandals have been mainstream events with far-reaching impact. They’ve not only clouded public perceptions of business in general, but also highlighted the pervasive mistrust underpinning interactions among corporate executives themselves. Individual whistle blowers won’t bring about sweeping cultural change. We need leaders who will help whole organizations become vibrant sources of trust.

But this type of corporate culture isn’t easy to establish. Sure, leaders aspire to create challenging discussions that can move their organisations forward. But does the corporate culture allow them to challenge their teams without descending into personal attacks? The willingness to challenge is often undermined by an already existing absence of trust marked by politeness and defensive behaviour.

So how can senior managers create teams that feel trusting enough to enable challenge?

There are four steps to developing and maintaining trust:

First, managers must recognise the symptoms of low levels of trust. These are often seen in how communication takes place. When meaningful conversations take place mostly on the side, or outside of the committee room, there’s a big indication something isn’t right. When teams consistently run out of time for discussion and debate because presentations are taking too long, perhaps it’s because time isn’t being left for them. Are executives simply pretending to listen to or build on each other’s points of view, but actually only pausing long enough to find another opportunity to speak? Are conversations repetitive with executives restating their points of view several times?

Being able to distinguish politeness from respect is the first step in identifying an absence of trust.

A seemingly polite atmosphere created by these behaviours could easily be perceived as respectful. But the absence of trust is covertly driving the discussion. It is common to find an absence of trust at senior levels of an organization because colleagues tend to avoid the real issues by defensively shutting down emotionally, not listening to others, and by creating a wall that prevents the sharing of information. Being able to distinguish politeness from respect is the first step in identifying an absence of trust.

The second step is to initiate uncomfortable dialogue. In teams where excessive politeness is the norm, this will be difficult. People may try to initiate uncomfortable dialogue at the end of a meeting, but dialogue is unlikely to get challenging at that time. No one wants to leave a meeting on bad terms, when there are low levels of trust. Difficult conversations need to be initiated in the middle or even at the beginning of a meeting. They also need a defined space and time. Sometimes moving to another room, and agreeing on a time limit, will facilitate and contain a difficult conversation. Different spaces can break the scripted and polite conversations that often emerge among executives.

Difficult conversations need to be initiated in the middle or even at the beginning of a meeting.

The third step is to encourage transparency. Transparency to most senior executives means allowing others to see information that is otherwise held privately. However, a deeper level of transparency is about actively sharing and revealing thoughts, emotions and beliefs that flow through our mind. Senior executives are usually very good at keeping these things private, and some believe it’s the right thing to do.

But this is not humanly possible. Everyone carries emotions with them that influence their perceptions and judgement. By being open and transparent about irritations, frustrations, competitiveness or anger, executives can understand how they are restraining the dialogue. For example, it may be helpful to say, “I felt no one was listening to me” to shift the conversation. Suppressing emotions is delusional. It can trick us into thinking that we or others are not experiencing any discomfort.

To be sure, building trust requires an active disclosure of selected thoughts and feelings. We cannot disclose everything we think or feel – nothing would get done, and it would lead to chaos.

…the relationships that are most likely to strengthen and build trust are those where disclosure and feedback are reciprocated.

Another form of transparency involves giving feedback. For example, “I felt irritated with you when you said…” or “I felt angry when you were dominating the conversation”. Such feedback is difficult to find in executive ranks, especially on polite teams. On the surface, feedback can be seen as a personal attack, and as such it is often avoided. There can also be a tacit collusion between executives not to criticize each other publicly.

The deeper explanation for the lack of feedback is the fear of rejection. When giving honest and direct feedback both the receiver and the giver may feel rejected, even when the feedback is requested. Yet, the relationships that are most likely to strengthen and build trust are those where disclosure and feedback are reciprocated.

If we actively make our feelings transparent through disclosure and feedback, we stay with one another through our feelings of rejection. If acceptance follows, we feel greater trust in the relationship – building belief that it will sustain in the long term. Achieving this state is the key to maintaining the balance between the intimacy and tension needed for optimal productivity. It needs to be a gradual and reciprocal process. Sharing too much can overwhelm. Sharing too little or much more than others can breed mistrust.

The fourth and final step is to keep difficult conversations ongoing and continuous. Difficult conversations are often replayed in our own minds for many hours after they are over. “I should have said…” While executives will need to move on and get back to the task, if one person or if a relationship is left “bruised” or “raw” it is better to acknowledge this and then move on rather than pretend nothing has happened. It is also wise to come back to the conversation a day or a week later. As time passes, if expressed, most difficult feelings pass. By coming back to the issue, you are signalling that you are still ‘with’ the person, and not avoiding or dismissing them. You are showing them that they can trust you with the difficult issues, not just the polite ones.

With corporate failures often dominating the headlines, one has to ask how many could have been avoided if more trust had been achieved across management. Because of the responsibility and power embedded in senior executive roles, there is much going on below the surface that is difficult to discuss. Instead, corporate leaders often fall back on being polite or ‘civilized’ with colleagues. How many Wells Fargo employees knew they were engaging in wrongful behaviour, but didn’t have an environment to speak up? In many cases being polite creates the delusion of respect, but an absence of trust. By making themselves vulnerable with one another, by exposing some of their thoughts and feelings that they do not usually share, managers will be able to build trust, and with it, genuine respect and a better corporate world.

Professor Ben Bryant is Director of the CEO Learning Center at IMD business school.

Looking back in the early days of my career, there are several things I wish I’d known. Now that I’m the CMO of Leyard’s international business and vice president of marketing and product strategy at Planar, I’m sharing lessons that would have been helpful when I started my career, in hopes they will help recent graduates as they enter the professional workforce.

In most professional environments, email is the most commonly used communication tool. While you have likely used personal email for many years, there are different protocols in the work place. These 10 guidelines will help ensure you are communicating what you want to communicate and how your message is being received.

1. Never use email to criticise or gossip

Never say something on email that you don’t want printed and put on the company bulletin board. Never gossip or take a harsh tone in email. Assume every email will be read by more than the recipient – before you hit send, would you be comfortable sending it to everyone in the company?

2. Never use email to discuss a heated or controversial topic.

Because you can’t read an email and determine the intended tone, it is not a good medium for discussing sensitive things, being sarcastic or delivering feedback. A good rule of thumb is that if there are more than 3 replies in the thread, it is best to take the conversation off-line to a meeting (in person or at least on the phone). You can reply to the thread saying, “It looks like this topic is a good one for us to discuss further. I suggest that we don’t continue in email, but rather schedule a call or meeting. How would tomorrow at 3 PM look for you?” Plus, a measured response demonstrates maturity and self-control, which are always good in the workplace.

3. Use proper language and full sentences

Do not use text slang (do not use LOL, BRB or the number 2 in place of “to” or “too”). In some offices, using this shorthand in messaging applications (like Lync or Skype or WeChat) is okay, but not in email. By using proper grammar and spelling, you are showing that you are professional, intelligent and do not take unnecessary shortcuts.

4. Respond to every email

Unless it says that no response is necessary, reply to all emails addressed to you. It can be with an answer or with more questions. It can be with a simple “thank you” or a message of completion to a project request. If you want to acknowledge the email, but don’t yet have the answer or have anything to report, reply back saying when you will respond. “I wanted to say that I got this request and have begun work on it. I expect to be done on Tuesday and will let you know when it is complete.” Keeping it short is fine, and often preferred. Responding to emails is a way to make and keep commitments while building trust.

5. Set your out of office when you are away

When you are on vacation, travelling for business, or even away from your desk in meetings (if they last longer than when people would expect a reply from you, which varies by job and person), set your out of office message. Most email programs allow you to set your out of office for a particular time and deliver different messages to internal and external parties. Keep it short and professional. Say how long you will be out of the office. Tell them you will get to their message as soon as you can, but they should expect delays. Offer them an alternative contact for immediate assistance, if one is available. Never disclose personal information in an out-of-office intended for external parties (i.e., “I’ll be partying on the beach in Miami for Spring Break”).

6. How to use the To: line: strategically

If you want someone to take action or the email is addressed to them, put them in the TO line. Most emails should be to one person or to a small group where all of the roles are clear and be sure to clarify who you need to respond to which aspects. For example: “Kevin, I am copying you so that you can help me estimate the costs. Gary, can you help me greet our guests at 2 PM tomorrow?”

7. How to use the CC: line: judiciously

Include people in the CC if they need to be aware of the discussion, but are not active participants. If you are sharing good news or a compliment, feel free to copy in that person’s manager. Avoid the temptation to copy the world in on emails, especially if the content is bad or difficult. (And remember it’s often better to handle difficult news in person rather than over email.)

8. How to use the BCC line: carefully

Blind carbon copies are often used to complain or as a way to “cover your tracks”. My advice is to be honest and do not use it to be sneaky. In general, I don’t think it is a good form of communication and I don’t use it. The times BCC is acceptable is sending company-wide email to avoid unnecessary reply-alls, or if someone introduces to you to someone else via email. For example, a good use of BCC would be if Bill thinks you should know Sue and sends an email suggesting you have coffee sometime with Sue. You can move Bill to BCC to thank him for the introduction (telling him you are moving him to the BCC), then remove him from the conversation you and Sue as you figure out when to schedule the coffee.

9. How to use “reply to all”: rarely

Replying to all is rarely a good idea. It clogs up emails and makes people look like amateur communicators. The exception to this is when someone is trying to schedule a meeting or brainstorming to build upon each other’s ideas. But even then there are better ways, such as using the busy/available tool in the calendar.

10. Don’t forget how to write a letter

I like to send hand-written notes. It is bit old-fashioned, I know, but because it is rare, the gesture is genuinely appreciated. I have gotten thank you calls and emails from folks who received a thank you note and felt compelled to respond. It is a great way to build relationships.

Jennifer Davis is a senior executive, industry presenter, business leader, mentor and volunteer. She is the vice president of marketing and product strategy for Planar Systems, a global leader in display and digital signage technology. More information about Jennifer is available at her website: http://atjenniferdavis.com/#homeinfo

The difference between how men and women operate in business seems to be eternally debated. Much of the argument is around approach – namely that men aggressively go after what they want and are therefore more successful than women, who tend to sit back and wait for things to happen.

This argument tends to lead to a generalization where women get put into one of two camps: either you’re nice and you get left behind, or you essentially need to be aggressive in order to get what you want. From my own experiences, I strongly disagree with these stereotypes, and fully believe that you can be nice and still get what you want.

I opted out of the education system after finishing primary school. I was not privy to the pains of high-school, and possibly this lack of exposure to what I hear can be fairly torturous years for teenage girls in regards to unspoken popularity contents, cliques, and ‘mean girl’ behavior could well have shaped my view that there’s no need to be nasty in order to achieve your goals. Having said that, I have lived through a great many business situations that have involved what I can only imagine to be similar mean girl behavior, and I am still a firm believer that kindness gets you a lot further than aggression – in every aspect of life.

As a female in business, one of the problems we seem to face is this notion that showing kindness or being nice is a sign of weakness.

Sometimes I think the absolute opposite is true – being nice in the face of adversity, failure, or other people’s bad behavior takes a great deal more strength than being nasty about it. I learned the hard way through my work internationally that sometimes people just don’t do what they say they are going to do – and it’s me who has been left in the lurch as a result.

When I have to work overseas, I am usually operating on very limited turnaround time and I can be in a country for literally 48 hours, so I always send a list of my equipment requirements before I go. Despite this, I often arrive to find they have nothing has been prepared as promised. I have worked in kitchens that don’t use soap – just water. I have worked in kitchens that have such a build-up of food on their mixers that I gag while I’m cleaning it off with a trowel. Turning into a she-devil doesn’t fix these situations, and it doesn’t endear you to anyone. So, I just smile as I clean, and I learned very quickly to take my own box cleaning of products and sanitizer.

Taking control of a situation does not mean you have to be aggressive or nasty – there is a big difference between being strong and tough to being rude and disrespectful.

I’ve learned a few things along the way in my career in regards to how to be nice and still get what you want – and here are my top three.

Be nice, but be persistent.

A lot of women are afraid to ask for what they want. This is one difference to men that I see as being very true. Men will often ask for what they want – or request a conversation about why they’re not getting what they want. Women tend to sit back and wait. Don’t. If you want to try something, have access to an opportunity, meet someone – ask for it, and keep asking. You can be nice and persistent at the same time. You don’t need to be demanding, and you don’t need to be aggressive – but you don’t need to be afraid to ask for what you want, either.

Learn how to stand up for yourself.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean getting into an argument or jamming your opinion down an unsuspecting person’s throat. Learning to communicate how you feel without getting angry or emotional can be difficult for a lot of women, but it’s imperative. It is totally possible to tell someone what you want, or that you disagree with them without being rude – and being nice about it is often a great way to get your opinion heard.

Accept that some people just aren’t nice.

No matter how nice you may be, you will encounter others who just can’t do the same. Some people are just mean. Learning to accept that, and learning not take it personally, helps prevent you from meeting them on their level. Don’t try to change them, and don’t let their attitude change yours. Keep being nice, and move on.

I truly believe that being nice has helped my career, and I am proud to have a reputation as a nice person to work with. And as the mother to a young son, I am also very aware that my behavior, as well as the behavior I accept from others, is shaping his view of females and how he should in turn treat women. I have a responsibility not only to myself, but to him, and to other women, to treat people the way I wish to be treated – and to fly the flag for being a nice person that can also achieve success by being so.

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 preset Kirsten Tibbals, proclaimed by MasterChef Australia as ‘the Queen of Chocolate’, is one of Australia’s most celebrated and respected pastry chefs and chocolatiers. Her awards include best handmade chocolates in the world at the World Pastry Team Championships in Las Vegas, and Gold and Bronze at the Pastry Olympics in Germany. In 2002, Kirsten established Savour Chocolate and Patisserie School in Melbourne, and she is also the author of two cookbooks.