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Business Relationships

It’s important to be visible if you want to get ahead in your career. Becoming known and valued for the great work you do and by the people who can help you progress is a critical step to putting your leadership career on the map. However, for women, ensuring that the right people know about our achievements is not an easy task. Women don’t like to brag, and others don’t like women to brag. So how do we brag without bragging?

We don’t like when women brag

Men can stand around the water cooler swapping achievements till the cows come home and no one bats an eyelid. If women were to do the same, the conversation would screech to a halt. Why? Because when women talk about their successes as openly and unashamedly as men do, they face a social backlash. A social what? A backlash. Yep, that frustrating phenomenon where people are punished for acting in ways society deems ‘abnormal’ or unexpected.

It skews our interpretation of behaviours outside the norm. For example, women who step into the spotlight are perceived as arrogant, not confident. And instead of appreciating assertiveness, we see it as aggression. No wonder we feel sick about bragging; we know it can affect our confidence, our careers and our personal brand.

The double bind

We expect to hear men bragging, but what about women? Nope. As a society, we unconsciously hold women to old entrenched stereotypes: women should be humble, they should help others before themselves, and if their work is good enough they won’t have to brag about it. And unfortunately, it is not just men who hold these views—ladies, we are guilty of this as well. Women, therefore, are held hostage to the double bind. If we tout our accomplishments we won’t be liked but if we don’t we are invisible. What a disappointing conundrum.

If we tout our accomplishments we won’t be liked but if we don’t we are invisible.

The way forward

There are a few choices to address the situation. One is to say ‘to hell with it’ and sing our successes from the rooftops. After all, if men can, women can, and who cares about what people think! Some women can get away with this but very few feel comfortable even trying. For the most part, women are loath to talk themselves up so this could prove tough.

The alternative is to let others do it for you (thanks Sheryl Sandberg for the tip). Enter Lunch Club. Get a group of women to attend a regular lunch. Use the time to share successes, achievements and current work ambitions. Each woman is then armed and ready to brag on behalf of her other Lunch Club buddies. It’s a win, win, win, win. Supporting the work of other brilliant women is good for the sisterhood:

It’s good for the woman you’re highlighting.
It’s good for the organisation who learns more about that woman.
It’s good for the woman supporting the other woman, because who doesn’t love someone who advocates for the great work of others?

The extended benefits

This technique is simple and effective, and best of all, it avoids the social backlash of women bragging for themselves. But there is more to it. When you brag on behalf of other women, you get to put yourself in the spotlight: you speak to the right people, and you engage with senior professionals and important stakeholders. You become known as a woman who is connected to other talented individuals; who’s not afraid of the success of others; who can speak up, show up and contribute selflessly to the group’s overall success—all without having to say a single thing about yourself. Your actions speak louder than your words which reveals more about your leadership character than bragging ever could.

So next time you’re told to be more visible, rejoice! It’s lunchtime, ladies!

As an author, speaker and communication expert (a.k.a professional People Whisperer), Anneli Blundell helps her clients improve their communication, influence and engagement. Her masterclass for Women in Leadership explores the confidence, communication strategies and power dynamics women need to actively steer their leadership careers, on their own terms. You can connect with Anneli on LinkedIn at https://au.linkedin.com/in/anneliblundell, follow her on Twitter @AnneliBlundell or connect via www.anneliblundell.com.

We’ve all had them at one time or another—a difficult boss is one who is rude or passive-aggressive, gives little guidance on what’s expected, says everything is a priority, or dismisses your ideas but takes credit for them. You are looking for a new job, but in the meantime you need to survive without letting the stress make you sick, and you need to leave with a good reputation if possible.

Unfortunately, this is a common challenge. A Gallup study released in 2015 found that 50 percent of the adults surveyed left a job to get away from their managers. You are not alone–but you can get through it.

Here are some ways you can survive—and thrive—until you can find a job that suits you better.

Identify their real priorities

At times, the “stated” priorities of the company aren’t really what your boss wants, but you can always find out what they are. Their priority today is whatever their boss wants. Look at the bigger picture to identify the priorities two levels up—what their boss’s boss wants. Helping a difficult boss solve his or her own stressors will get their gratitude and lessen your stress.

Support their weaknesses with your strengths

If your boss doesn’t give guidance on what’s expected, perhaps he or she doesn’t know. It’s just a fact of life that managers are sometimes promoted into jobs they don’t belong in. Sometimes it’s because they are friends with their boss, because they were good in a technical role, or they didn’t get adequate training to be a leader. Identify those weaknesses and supplement it with your strengths. For example, if your boss is a big-picture person but doesn’t know how to do a project, show your boss that you understand the details on how to get from big idea to a completed project.

Keep them informed/check in often

When difficult bosses are micro-managers, it’s usually because they are insecure, or just don’t know how to lead. Instead of waiting to be asked, set up a regular time to just drop by and inform them on the latest status of your project. Late afternoons before you go home is a good time. That way, the next morning they will likely go to someone else, because they already have an update with you.

Clarify expectations

Sometimes a difficult boss gives little or no guidance. Have a conversation to find out exactly what your boss thinks a successful project would look like. A good way to do this is say, “To you, this project will be successful if…” and wait for an answer. If you don’t get one, tell your boss what you think it is. Then ask: “Is that your vision, or is it different?” You will also want to ask why is the project being done, by when, who all is involved, what their roles and responsibilities are, the interim reporting requirements, the level of authority your team has before they come to him/her, and what risks you need to know. Writing that down in front of your difficult boss lets them know you are keeping a record of their guidance.

Set your boundaries

Know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. There’s always a way to handle a difficult boss who is rude. Remember, you want to set the tone and guide your own reactions. No matter what, answer your boss in a positive tone without appearing angry or impatient. Avoid getting into an expectation of being “on call” after you leave work. You have been proactive by informing your boss of the status of your projects, so don’t react to work calls after hours unless there is a true emergency.

This kind of boss isn’t easy to survive, but when you are the boss, you will remember it as an example of what kind not to be.

How are some ways you’ve handled a difficult boss?

Susan C. Foster is a former executive-turned-turned coach and a recovering 24/7 workaholic. She helps leaders build great organizations and have a life in the process. She’s the author of “It’s Not Rocket Science: Leading, Inspiring and Motivating Your Team To Be Their Best,” and can be found at www.susancfoster.com.

Looking back in the early days of my career, I think about the lessons I learned that have helped me throughout my career. Now that I’m the CMO of Leyard’s international business and vice president of marketing and product strategy at Planar, I’m sharing those lessons in the hopes they will help new employees as they enter the professional workforce.

Congratulations—you’ve graduated and landed your first professional job! There are still many lessons to learn, even if you are starting your career in the discipline you studied. While every office environment is different, there are some things that are important no matter where you work. Here are the top four things I wish I would have known on my first day on the job so I could have done my best work every day, from the very first day.

You are there to do a job

Unlike some roles in which you trade your time for a paycheck even when customers aren’t present, an office job is different. Even if you work hourly, you are expected not just to be there, but to accomplish real work every day. If you are unclear about your job responsibilities and what is expected of you, ask your manager. Observe the respected leaders of your company and their approach, and see how you can model your behavior and habits after theirs.

One of my first jobs was in a retail clothing store, and my boss was an exceptional mentor. She taught us the old retail mantra: “If you have time to stand, you have time to sweep.” The same is true in an office environment. Don’t wait to be told. Find out what you are responsible for and keep yourself busy and focused on the goals of the company.

Understand how your work matters

It’s not enough to just keep busy. You must also understand how your work contributes to the business. Learn who benefits directly from the work you do, what internal and external customers need, and how the business makes money. Having this context will motivate you to excel in your responsibilities, make better decisions and make everyone (including yourself) more successful.

A chief financial officer once told me that even if you do not have an interest in finance and accounting, it is important to know how the score is kept in business. Not knowing would be like playing in a soccer or softball game and not being able to read the score board. Learning to read the score board and how your own activities put points on that scoreboard will help you better understand the value of your work to the company.

Work at the office

Even if your employer has a flexible work-from-home policy, I would advise you to show up to the office. While it may be convenient to avoid the commute, it’s important to get to know your co-workers, for them to get to know you, and to learn from your peers. It is too isolating to be at home, even in today’s modern world. Out of sight is out of mind is something you want to avoid while building your career.

The exception to this is if you are in a field that requires working at the clients’ place of business. If being on location is the best way for you to satisfy customers and grow the business, then by all means, do your work there. Just be sure to regularly connect and update your manager and colleagues so you can continue to build those important relationships even when you are out of sight.

Early in my career, I made a point of visiting my boss at the beginning of every day to check in and tell him my plans for the day. This won’t work with every manager, but if you have a relational boss, this kind of face time could have a positive impact on your productivity and the trust you build with the team.

You build relationships in the office

Get to know your co-workers by showing genuine interest in them. Ask questions. How long have they worked here? What are their responsibilities for the company? Do they have advice for you as you start out on the job? If possible, find a mentor who can serve as a resource for understanding the company and its specific job roles. Building your network within the organization will help you to quickly learn and establish yourself as you work toward your first promotion. Just be sure your interactions aren’t distracting—hanging out at the water cooler all day will not help develop your career!

Following this advice will help you to quickly become a valued member of the team. It won’t be long before you are no longer the new person in the office and you will be in a position to show hospitality and help other employees get to know the organization and their colleagues.

Jennifer Davis is a senior executive, industry presenter, business leader, mentor and volunteer. She is the vice president of marketing and product strategy for Planar Systems, a global leader in display and digital signage technology. More information about Jennifer is available at her website: http://atjenniferdavis.com/#homeinfo

Looking back in the early days of my career, there are several things I wish I’d known. Now that I’m the CMO of Leyard’s international business and vice president of marketing and product strategy at Planar, I’m sharing lessons that would have been helpful when I started my career, in hopes they will help recent graduates as they enter the professional workforce.

In most professional environments, email is the most commonly used communication tool. While you have likely used personal email for many years, there are different protocols in the work place. These 10 guidelines will help ensure you are communicating what you want to communicate and how your message is being received.

1. Never use email to criticise or gossip

Never say something on email that you don’t want printed and put on the company bulletin board. Never gossip or take a harsh tone in email. Assume every email will be read by more than the recipient – before you hit send, would you be comfortable sending it to everyone in the company?

2. Never use email to discuss a heated or controversial topic.

Because you can’t read an email and determine the intended tone, it is not a good medium for discussing sensitive things, being sarcastic or delivering feedback. A good rule of thumb is that if there are more than 3 replies in the thread, it is best to take the conversation off-line to a meeting (in person or at least on the phone). You can reply to the thread saying, “It looks like this topic is a good one for us to discuss further. I suggest that we don’t continue in email, but rather schedule a call or meeting. How would tomorrow at 3 PM look for you?” Plus, a measured response demonstrates maturity and self-control, which are always good in the workplace.

3. Use proper language and full sentences

Do not use text slang (do not use LOL, BRB or the number 2 in place of “to” or “too”). In some offices, using this shorthand in messaging applications (like Lync or Skype or WeChat) is okay, but not in email. By using proper grammar and spelling, you are showing that you are professional, intelligent and do not take unnecessary shortcuts.

4. Respond to every email

Unless it says that no response is necessary, reply to all emails addressed to you. It can be with an answer or with more questions. It can be with a simple “thank you” or a message of completion to a project request. If you want to acknowledge the email, but don’t yet have the answer or have anything to report, reply back saying when you will respond. “I wanted to say that I got this request and have begun work on it. I expect to be done on Tuesday and will let you know when it is complete.” Keeping it short is fine, and often preferred. Responding to emails is a way to make and keep commitments while building trust.

5. Set your out of office when you are away

When you are on vacation, travelling for business, or even away from your desk in meetings (if they last longer than when people would expect a reply from you, which varies by job and person), set your out of office message. Most email programs allow you to set your out of office for a particular time and deliver different messages to internal and external parties. Keep it short and professional. Say how long you will be out of the office. Tell them you will get to their message as soon as you can, but they should expect delays. Offer them an alternative contact for immediate assistance, if one is available. Never disclose personal information in an out-of-office intended for external parties (i.e., “I’ll be partying on the beach in Miami for Spring Break”).

6. How to use the To: line: strategically

If you want someone to take action or the email is addressed to them, put them in the TO line. Most emails should be to one person or to a small group where all of the roles are clear and be sure to clarify who you need to respond to which aspects. For example: “Kevin, I am copying you so that you can help me estimate the costs. Gary, can you help me greet our guests at 2 PM tomorrow?”

7. How to use the CC: line: judiciously

Include people in the CC if they need to be aware of the discussion, but are not active participants. If you are sharing good news or a compliment, feel free to copy in that person’s manager. Avoid the temptation to copy the world in on emails, especially if the content is bad or difficult. (And remember it’s often better to handle difficult news in person rather than over email.)

8. How to use the BCC line: carefully

Blind carbon copies are often used to complain or as a way to “cover your tracks”. My advice is to be honest and do not use it to be sneaky. In general, I don’t think it is a good form of communication and I don’t use it. The times BCC is acceptable is sending company-wide email to avoid unnecessary reply-alls, or if someone introduces to you to someone else via email. For example, a good use of BCC would be if Bill thinks you should know Sue and sends an email suggesting you have coffee sometime with Sue. You can move Bill to BCC to thank him for the introduction (telling him you are moving him to the BCC), then remove him from the conversation you and Sue as you figure out when to schedule the coffee.

9. How to use “reply to all”: rarely

Replying to all is rarely a good idea. It clogs up emails and makes people look like amateur communicators. The exception to this is when someone is trying to schedule a meeting or brainstorming to build upon each other’s ideas. But even then there are better ways, such as using the busy/available tool in the calendar.

10. Don’t forget how to write a letter

I like to send hand-written notes. It is bit old-fashioned, I know, but because it is rare, the gesture is genuinely appreciated. I have gotten thank you calls and emails from folks who received a thank you note and felt compelled to respond. It is a great way to build relationships.

The main quality that any leader (boss) wants, is the right way of thinking or, as most people put it, the right attitude. There are two types of thinking; one is for those that actually do get ahead and the other are the ones that are always complaining and are the constant ‘poor me’. I have acronyms for both of these types- you can either be a VERB or you can choose to SOAR. My 8 tips are based around these theories. Let’s start with the people who will never get ahead and the boss will probably never promote (unless they are family); they are the VERBs (my don’t be tips).

DON’T BE

Don’t be a person who is a:

Victim

We all know them. they are the people who are always hard-done by, the ones that never stand up for themselves and always complain without taking control of their lives. In the business world, they are the ones that bad stuff happens to (cue the violin).

Entitled

Bosses are not a fan of this type of person. These people that feel it is their right for a promotion, just because they have been there the longest, not because they are adding value. They are the ones that take every sick day because they are ‘entitled’ to it. They are also that ones who never work a minute after 5pm; and if they do, they go straight to the boss for overtime, because they are ‘entitled’ to it.

Rescue

These people never attempt to find the solution themselves. Their first point of call is to look to someone else for the answer. They are not proactive and don’t show initiative.

Blame

This is the one that bosses hate the most (well I do anyway!) – the blame mentality. If you want an example, then take a look at politicians. Things go wrong in business – it’s normal! But this type of person immediately resorts to finger-pointing, to make sure that the blame never gets directed at them. The reason bosses hate this is because they understand that ‘shit’ happens sometimes, but they love people who take accountability for what they do. Own it and let’s move on.

Now, we are all guilty of fitting into the above categories at times. But if you can mostly SOAR (see below), then you will absolutely succeed in everything you do.

DO BE

Be someone who has:

Solutions

Bosses love it when you come to them with a solution to a problem. Even they don’t agree, they will appreciate that you are doing your best to solve the current problem.

Ownership

This is the opposite to blame. Bosses absolutely love it when you own what you do right and wrong, they love it when you own your ideas and have conviction. Be proud to tell your boss some your ideas. Most people are just doers, so stand out and OWN IT.

Accountability

In work, you will be given a certain job description and you know what you need to achieve. Be accountable not only for what your do, but add value as well. Have that curious mind to continue to improve and learn. This gives you massive power in your role.

Phrases like “Leave it with me”, “I will sort it out and let you know the outcome”, or “If I need assistance I will let you know” show accountability for your role and how capable you actually are. When I started Boost, there was no one to turn to. It was me alone, and I was accountable for the wins and the losses. Wear both proudly, because if you are not making mistakes you are not trying hard enough.

Responsibility

This is where the real power to achieve lives. If you are responsible for your job, your life, your happiness, your dreams, then you have the power to make anything happen.

Communicate and get in their face!

So you SOAR with the right attitude and you are set for success. But it’s also important to put yourself out there. Make sure you talk to your boss socially, get him/her to get to know the real you, and create opportunities to tell them your ideas. Often your boss has a boss, so make sure they know your name too. Casually put forward our ideas when you have the opportunity. Ask their opinions (bosses love to think that you are interested in their thoughts!).

What if you feel that you ARE doing all the right things, and your attitude is to SOAR, and not be a VERB, but you are still getting nowhere? Keep going, but make a change of direction. Don’t complain about it (easier said than done) and instead make a change (in both your work and your life).

You have the power to create the life you want, so go for it!

These tips were brought to you by Janine Allis, founder of Boost. She’s teamed up with Universal Sony Home Entertainment to celebrate The Boss launching on DVD.

The difference between how men and women operate in business seems to be eternally debated. Much of the argument is around approach – namely that men aggressively go after what they want and are therefore more successful than women, who tend to sit back and wait for things to happen.

This argument tends to lead to a generalization where women get put into one of two camps: either you’re nice and you get left behind, or you essentially need to be aggressive in order to get what you want. From my own experiences, I strongly disagree with these stereotypes, and fully believe that you can be nice and still get what you want.

I opted out of the education system after finishing primary school. I was not privy to the pains of high-school, and possibly this lack of exposure to what I hear can be fairly torturous years for teenage girls in regards to unspoken popularity contents, cliques, and ‘mean girl’ behavior could well have shaped my view that there’s no need to be nasty in order to achieve your goals. Having said that, I have lived through a great many business situations that have involved what I can only imagine to be similar mean girl behavior, and I am still a firm believer that kindness gets you a lot further than aggression – in every aspect of life.

As a female in business, one of the problems we seem to face is this notion that showing kindness or being nice is a sign of weakness.

Sometimes I think the absolute opposite is true – being nice in the face of adversity, failure, or other people’s bad behavior takes a great deal more strength than being nasty about it. I learned the hard way through my work internationally that sometimes people just don’t do what they say they are going to do – and it’s me who has been left in the lurch as a result.

When I have to work overseas, I am usually operating on very limited turnaround time and I can be in a country for literally 48 hours, so I always send a list of my equipment requirements before I go. Despite this, I often arrive to find they have nothing has been prepared as promised. I have worked in kitchens that don’t use soap – just water. I have worked in kitchens that have such a build-up of food on their mixers that I gag while I’m cleaning it off with a trowel. Turning into a she-devil doesn’t fix these situations, and it doesn’t endear you to anyone. So, I just smile as I clean, and I learned very quickly to take my own box cleaning of products and sanitizer.

Taking control of a situation does not mean you have to be aggressive or nasty – there is a big difference between being strong and tough to being rude and disrespectful.

I’ve learned a few things along the way in my career in regards to how to be nice and still get what you want – and here are my top three.

Be nice, but be persistent.

A lot of women are afraid to ask for what they want. This is one difference to men that I see as being very true. Men will often ask for what they want – or request a conversation about why they’re not getting what they want. Women tend to sit back and wait. Don’t. If you want to try something, have access to an opportunity, meet someone – ask for it, and keep asking. You can be nice and persistent at the same time. You don’t need to be demanding, and you don’t need to be aggressive – but you don’t need to be afraid to ask for what you want, either.

Learn how to stand up for yourself.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean getting into an argument or jamming your opinion down an unsuspecting person’s throat. Learning to communicate how you feel without getting angry or emotional can be difficult for a lot of women, but it’s imperative. It is totally possible to tell someone what you want, or that you disagree with them without being rude – and being nice about it is often a great way to get your opinion heard.

Accept that some people just aren’t nice.

No matter how nice you may be, you will encounter others who just can’t do the same. Some people are just mean. Learning to accept that, and learning not take it personally, helps prevent you from meeting them on their level. Don’t try to change them, and don’t let their attitude change yours. Keep being nice, and move on.

I truly believe that being nice has helped my career, and I am proud to have a reputation as a nice person to work with. And as the mother to a young son, I am also very aware that my behavior, as well as the behavior I accept from others, is shaping his view of females and how he should in turn treat women. I have a responsibility not only to myself, but to him, and to other women, to treat people the way I wish to be treated – and to fly the flag for being a nice person that can also achieve success by being so.

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 preset Kirsten Tibbals, proclaimed by MasterChef Australia as ‘the Queen of Chocolate’, is one of Australia’s most celebrated and respected pastry chefs and chocolatiers. Her awards include best handmade chocolates in the world at the World Pastry Team Championships in Las Vegas, and Gold and Bronze at the Pastry Olympics in Germany. In 2002, Kirsten established Savour Chocolate and Patisserie School in Melbourne, and she is also the author of two cookbooks.