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Self-Development

The first time I experienced workplace bullying, it took me about 6 months to recognise it. I’d always see the best in people and would rather blame or doubt myself than believe somebody was purposely trying to undermine my self-confidence. When I finally realised what was happening, I got really mad – at myself. I completely bought into what the bully said and did, but worse, I had become the biggest bully in my life – where they left off, I took over – and amplified it for good measure!

To make myself bully-proof, I knew I had to recalibrate and stop giving myself up, shutting myself down, doubting myself or making someone else’s judgments more valuable than me.

I wondered what it would take to enjoy being me so much that I never again cared about what other people thought, said or did? Could I end bullying without becoming angry, jaded or cynical? I wanted a kinder world, and I realised, it had to start with me being kinder to me.

Here are my tips for becoming bully proof at work and in the world, and never letting anyone or anything stop you!

Choose to be happy

Happiness is powerful. Imagine never giving up your happiness, no matter what occurs? How much power would a bully have then? None! If they are having no effect, would a bully continue? Not for long. As Eleanor Roosevelt so famously put it: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

And as my mentor, Gary Douglas, succinctly says, “Happiness is just a choice.” No one can make you unhappy. The choice is always yours. Practice choosing happy. Literally say: “For the next 10 seconds I choose to be happy.” If you really get stuck, ask someone under the age of 9 about how to get happy and they’ll give you plenty of ideas.

Don’t fixate, out-create

Fixating is how you trap yourself in a mental stranglehold. When we feel trapped, we give ourselves two choices – fight (react) or flight (avoid) – neither of which are empowering. What if you out-created rather than fixated? Out-creating is where you allow yourself to see easy and elegant ways of dealing with things without going into reaction or getting upset. Anytime you catch yourself fixating, reacting or avoiding a bully, ask, “How can I out-create this with ease?”

Bullies need something to push against, and the energy of your avoidance or reaction is exactly what they are seeking. When you do out-creation, there is no longer a wall of energy for them to feed off and they have nowhere to go.

Cut out self-judgment

This might be the moment you take to ask yourself, “Who really is the biggest bully in my life?” After all, we really are our own greatest critics. If you truly desire to change bullying in the world – change you first. Empower you. Stop assuming and believing that you are wrong. It might seem like an impossible habit to break, but I know you can and I have some tools to help.

First: Gratitude. Gratitude and judgment cannot co-exist.
Second: Acknowledgement. Look at how awesome you are and what you have created in your life.
Third: Wonder about what else is awesome about you that you can choose to be in the world.

Ask these three questions every day, several times a day:

What am I grateful for about me?
What is right about me that I am not getting?
What am I capable of that no one else is?

Add more to your life that allows you to be you

To steal another quote from my mentor, “The purpose of life is to have fun. Are you having any?” What creative pursuits, hobbies, or interests can you add to make life more fun? How many more ways can you enjoy being you and expressing yourself?

Bullies get their kicks from making you feel wrong for being you. But what is the value of a bully’s opinion in the face of a life deeply enjoyed? You guessed it – nothing! Enjoy being you, have fun. You’ll soon realise it isn’t worth giving up being you for anyone or anything.

Get out of your comfort zone

Bullies pick on difference. Why is this? Because that difference is exactly what is great about you that they don’t want you to be and probably feel threatened by. If you are willing to stretch out of your comfort zone, you will begin to embrace your difference, rather than hide it. You will discover more capacities and ways for you to thrive.

When you turn up your difference in the face of bullies, you also inspire others to do the same. Ask yourself, “What difference can I choose to be today that I haven’t chosen before?

Nurture your body

Are you kind to your body, or do you judge it? Oops! Time to change that? Being judged or bullied doesn’t work for you and it definitely doesn’t work for your body. Start taking one hour daily and one day a week to nurture your body. Use this time to reconnect, have gratitude for your body and most importantly, enjoy your body.

The nurturing you give your body, it will give back to you tenfold. You could even go through all questions and tools in this article and apply them to your relationship with your body. I wonder what that would create?

Do things you think you can’t

One of the greatest bullying tactics we use against us is, “I can’t”. A great trick to get yourself out of the habit is to ask a friend (someone who truly has your back) to say, “You are right, you can’t,” any time you say, “I can’t”. Try it out and notice how often you think, “Shut up, yes I can!” It’s shameless, simple reverse psychology and dynamically effective.

The other thing you can do is ask yourself daily, “What can I do that no one else can?” and then just try something. Have an adventure. Say yes and know that you’ll figure out the rest!

Be honest with yourself about what you desire

Most of us don’t grow up being encouraged to create our lives as we would like, beyond outside influence. We are taught what’s normal and appropriate and how to create our lives based on other people’s expectations and ideals. What if you were the one who finally asked you, “If I could choose anything, what would I choose?” and “What would I like my life to be like?” If you’re willing to be honest and vulnerable with yourself about what you truly desire to create in the world, your true voice will always shine through.

A workplace can be one of many places where you get to enjoy and explore being you and using your capacities to create what you know is possible. Bullies may try to stop you, but are you truly stoppable? When you commit to embracing and enjoying all that is great about being you in the world, bullies will become very insignificant players in the awesome tapestry of your life.

Amanda Holland is a freelancer who works with businesses, companies, entrepreneurs, experts and thought-leaders across the globe. When she realised that her childhood dreams of becoming a modern day Indiana Jones were more exciting in her head than in reality, she decided to go on an adventure and work in a city where she didn’t speak the language – Kobe, Japan. After returning to Australia, Amanda became a Right Voice for You facilitator, a specialty program from personal development organisation Access Consciousness.

The Golden Age for women entrepreneurs has finally begun. Enterprising females are equipped with inspiration, know-how and inner grr to expand their opportunities. The rate of women entrepreneurs has been growing at a percentage at least double that of their male counterparts. The 2016 BNP Paribas Global Entrepreneur Report found that companies helmed by women entrepreneurs had 13% higher revenues than those run by men and finished 9% above the average for all entrepreneurs surveyed. Yet women have been conditioned to think they are not capable as men when it comes to launching and growing business.

The mindset of the 17^th century still lurks in the heads of some men and women alike. Women are not given the benefit of the doubt that they can do the same job as good or better than their male counterparts. The irony is that the further women had progressed into your career, the more opportunities for the imposter complex to rear its head.

In 1978, clinical psychologists Dr Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes coined the terms “Imposter Syndrome” to described they found in numerous high achieving women lived with a fear or belief that they didn’t deserve their success, a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”, attributing their achievements to luck, generosity or naivety of others. In 1993, Clance conceded that imposter syndrome as a uniquely female problem has been incorrect as males in were just as likely as females to have low expectations of success.

You can never eradicate the feelings associated with Imposter Syndrome. However, you can learn to dance with it, combat it and break through it quickly to rise again. Here are nine ways to curb these feelings in a healthy, proactive way.

Learn to dance

The most important step is learning how to dance with the imposter. You know what the feeling is called, you know others that suffer from it, you know a little bit about why you feel this way. Invite it in and remind yourself why it is here and what it means. View it as a friend and when it rears its ugly head, and it will, take a deep breath, pause for a minute, put a smile on your face and say, “Welcome back old friend. I am glad you are here because it means I have reached a point of success. Now, let’s get to work.”

Accomplishment Box

Investing time and energy in to celebrating your accomplishments is a resourceful way of reflecting on all the hard work you have put in to achieve your success. Embrace the fact that you got yourself to where you are, you earned your stripes and your accomplishments are the evidence that your ego is looking for.

Don’t derail from what’s yours

Asking yourself quality questions enables you to identify what is rightfully yours. Squash negative self-talk by asking quality questions – “What evidence exists that you are any less qualified than anybody else to do this work? Who are you to take away the experience for another human being? What evidence exists that you are just as qualified.” List 5 things. When you identify the worst thing that could happen if it didn’t work, eliminates the guess work and creates perspective.

Reframe your language

When you hear the whisper inside your head, it’s time to reframe your thoughts to move into your authentic confidence. Dare to believe someone when they tell you how remarkable you are and rise to the occasion by saying ‘thank you’.

Updating your language with more confident, assertive statements creates a circuit breaker within your brain. When you repeat repeatedly, you start to believe in what you are saying with ease and grace.

Giving your best is not the same as being your best

Self-acceptance is the key. Being clear about your standards and making progress, not perfection, allows you to contribute and be your type of valuable. You don’t have to be Picasso to be leave your imprint, however when you share your insight, knowledge and wisdom you enrich the lives around you.

Owning it all

You often hear people talking about taking responsibility for your failures yet the same applies with your successes. If you feel that you are undeserving, list all the key things in the past 12 months that you have accomplished.

Reframe failure as feedback and explore the lessons and use them to propel you forward. Remember, self-doubt is the proof of your humanity.

Comparison becomes a dark hole

Too often people fall into the trap of comparing our insides with others outside. The “if only” comes out when you hear yourself say things like, “If only I could speak the confidence that Julie does when on stage”, or “If only I was as artistic as Zoe when she pulls together her launch”, or “If only I could be more like Zak when it comes to making quick decisions”.

As humans we all make comparisons. However, in a world governed by digital media, we do it more now than ever. People continue to showcase the best aspects of their life and you are drawn in to the illusion, triggering questioning your own accomplishments. Re-wiring your thinking by being more self-compassionate and adopting positive self-talk will recalibrate the internal compass.

Shift your thinking

Separating feelings from fact is crucial. There are times you will feel stupid and it happens to everyone from time to time. Just because you may feel stupid doesn’t mean you are.

Adam Grant, in his book Originals, describes two kinds of doubt. Self-doubt, which causes you to freeze up, and Idea-doubt, which can motivate you to work on refining, testing or experimenting with a good idea. Turn self-doubt into idea-doubt by telling yourself that this is a draft of an idea, and you are just not there yet.

Henry Ford once said. “failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently”. Rather than beating yourself up for being human, look for the opportunity – the learning value from the mistake – and move on.

Self-doubt is a symptom of success

If you have ever thought to yourself, “One of these days people will realize l don’t know as much as they think”, then you are in good company.

Famous actors, CEO’s, and changemakers are most likely to encounter the imposter syndrome. Success is synonymous with coming face-to-face with self-doubt. It doesn’t matter who you are, imposter feelings can strike at any time. It affects some of the world’s most celebrated people.

Facebook’s COO Sherly Sandberg has said, “There are still days l wake up feeling like a fraud, not sure I should be where I am”. The Harry Potter actress and UN ambassador, Emma Watson has repeatedly admitted she feels like an imposter. In his book “The Icarus Deception”, Seth Godin wrote that he still feels like a fraud despite having published a dozen best sellers.

When you feel like a fraud, you are doing something right. Remember, you have got this.

Angela Kambouris is a highly-valued leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma. She is super-passionate about unlocking human potential to deliver extraordinary results and has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in the areas of self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. She has master-minded with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world.

I had the honor of sitting down with Meagan Ayres, the founder of Project You based in Vancouver, British Columbia. Project You is a movement of women coming together to consciously elevate themselves and the world.

“It’s more than just an organization or a business, it’s a way of life,” says Meagan. From being a shy, timid girl and someone who initially lacked self confidence, Meagan decided to put her foot down and break out of her own ways. Through personal development courses and other resources as well as experiencing her own breakthroughs, she discovered her purpose and founded Project You. It later became a well sought after organization and community that was much needed in the city of Vancouver. Ladies, meet Meagan!

Meagan, thanks so much for being here today and for taking time out of your busy schedule. Can you give us a little background on yourself? Who you are and how your organization came to be?

Thanks for having me! I’m Meagan and I’ve lived in Vancouver for 5 years now, though I grew up in Ontario. When I moved to Vancouver, I really felt that people in Vancouver in general were more active with their lifestyles and were doing things to live a more purposeful life. Many people I initially made connections with had huge aspirations, big dreams and goals. I found that to be really inspiring. Believe it or not, I used to be a very closed off person. I found it difficult to speak up in larger groups and have my voice heard and I was always very timid. I often lacked confidence and was often quite nervous.

Then I thought to myself that I should really be doing something more with my life. A friend of mine at that time introduced me to Landmark a few years ago. Landmark is a global enterprise committed to the fundamental principle that people have the possibility of success, fulfilment and greatness. This program made me want to be more committed to personal growth and figure out what I wanted to do with my life and figure out what my purpose was.

That’s when I created Project You. Toward the end of the course, I had to create a project in my community that would impact society in a positive way. At that time, I was more focused on feeling a lot more confident with myself and my body, as I’d suffered through many body image issues that many young women go through. I really wanted to build a community where women could come together to feel confident in their own skin and know who they are. I also wanted to use it as a safe haven where they could figure out what they wanted to do. That was the initial idea, and since then it’s really transformed.

Initially this was a passion project for myself which developed into something for the greater community. I didn’t realize how much of an impact it would actually have. It’s interesting how quickly things can change!

How long have you been operating your organization now and would you say entrepreneurship was something that had always been of interest to you?

It will be two years in August. I feel like I was always entrepreneur focused. Even as a child, I was always trying to find ways to make money and to raise money or sell things. I always wanted to run my own business. I just didnt find the core thing as to what I wanted to do. I always had these ideas to start something, but then they would always get delayed. It really just comes down to taking action and just doing it and it took me awhile to realize that you CAN do anything you want and what your heart desires. You just have to take the necessary steps or just that ONE step to move forward.

…but it really just comes down to taking action and just doing it and it took me awhile to realize that you CAN do anything you want and what your heart desires. You just have to take the necessary steps or just that ONE step to move forward.

What does a regular work week look like for you? Is scheduling down time important? What do you enjoy doing during your spare time?

For the most part, my schedule is pretty standard. I work in fashion full time from Mondays to Fridays; as a wholesaler and doing sales for different fashion brands. That alone is a committed schedule from 10am-6pm. Typically, I wake up and get my man ready and out the door. He’s an entrepreneur himself so one of our common goals obviously is to help each other grow and succeed. In the evenings, I sometimes take other courses and immerse myself in other personal development resources. Right now, I have committed to Monday evenings being dedicated to Project You. I am incredibly grateful for my team that I have working with me on Project You to help with the workload.

Sundays are the one day I take off and I don’t do anything else. It took me awhile to figure that out in terms of just being able to schedule “me” time. I actually don’t have a lot of spare time, but one of my goals is to learn to dance more. I want to be more active, especially in a city like Vancouver where we can enjoy the scenery. I love going for walks and working out. If anything, I’d love to do more of that. Right now my boyfriend and I have a vision board project set up together so that takes a lot of our time. But I love it! We’ve pretty much envisioned our lives at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years and 5 years for ourselves and together. Finding pictures in magazines and other inspo to constantly add to our boards can take a lot of time! I also enjoy browsing through social media and various blogs to be inspired for creating my own content. I don’t really get to do that everyday.

Meagan, what has been your biggest hurdle throughout this entire journey so far? How did it affect you and how did you handle it?

I get this question a lot in different interviews and I feel like the answer has changed everytime. You start to see things differently all the time. So much is involved with Project You from the various social media channels to running events, you really dont know how much it takes until you’re fully immersed in it all. It’s easy to get carried away. The biggest thing lately is recognizing what I actually want to be and asking myself where I want to go. The coolest part is so many people appreciate this project and want to be on the team, but at the end of the day, I need to feel aligned with where the project is going. One of my own challenges is being able to recognize my own desires and really truly honoring my own voice and what I want. I’ve become a lot better these days saying “hey, this is the direction we’re going in and I would love for you to feel aligned with it too, but if you aren’t, maybe this isnt the best opportunity for you at this time.” You have to take in and consider everyone’s opinions and ideas on the team too. Most important thing in my honest opinion is to just stay committed to your core values and mission of what you’re doing.

It can actually be very difficult sometimes to stay fully and truly aligned. But like I said, I’ve become a lot better at speaking up and having my voice heard especially when it comes to what Project You stands for.

The most important thing, in my honest opinion, is to just stay committed to your core values and mission of what you’re doing.

So with all of that in mind, how would you define success?

For me, success is just being so devotedly committed to what your overall purpose is and actually doing whatever you can to make it happen. It’s different for everyone, but if you’re not staying committed to YOU, to me that’s not success. I also think about success as being able to boldly step outside of your comfort zone and continually doing more and playing a bigger game and showing up more and pushing yourself….

…if you’re not staying committed to YOU, to me that’s not success

It’s very easy to fall into the victim mentality. You know, “I cant do this, poor me.” NO, you actually can! You just need to be committed to what you want and not let anything else get in the way to get to your end goal. You have to stay focused. You have to practice self discipline. You have to think differently and know who you are FIRST and that I believe will bring you success. You have to know it’s going to take work.

Who would you say is your biggest inspiration?

I really admire Elena Cardone. She is such a powerhouse! My boyfriend is heavily involved with Grant Cardone, Elena’s husband. Grant Cardone is a best selling author, sales trainer, speaker and entrepreneur who has worked in real estate and the auto industry. He is also the owner of Whatever It Takes, a digital network for entrepreneurs, business owners and success minded people. They have this massive empire that they’re building together, which I love. She is just so committed and disciplined. She’s all about being responsible for your own role and owning it. She is boss babe goals!

If you had advice to give to someone who was just starting their own business/organization/passion project, what would it be?

I would probably say…..just go for it. Honestly, JUST DO IT. That’s what im realizing myself. There are so many beliefs you have about yourself that can stop you in your tracks. The more you can take action and push through that, you’ll figure it out! We are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else is on us so just go for it. And be ok with something not working out. Learn to adapt and change, if need be. Be able to speak up during the entire decision making process. Be able to confront things and people and push forward. Have an open mind. Even if you’ve been in business for ten years and it’s the most amazing thing, you can probably always do more.

There are so many beliefs you have about yourself that can stop you in your tracks. The more you can take action and push through that, you’ll figure it out!

Leaders In Heels is all about nurturing, inspiring and empowering female leaders. In your own opinion, what are some qualities you think a Leader In Heels would naturally possess?

Someone who is very bold and willing to be out there and be a changemaker. Also someone who is genuine and ethical and actually cares and someone who has high standards and lives by their words. They have high integrity. Leaders In Heels are also bubbly and fun! Being able to willingly be vulnerable is a great quality too. Vulnerability means you’re real and doesn’t mean weakness. Vulnerability portrays strength and I feel a great leader would have no problem with that.

Check out Project You (Instagram: @iamprojectyou). You can also follow Meagan’s Instagram: @meaganayres

Marica Morales is a lifestyle coach for women focusing on self-development & financial education. She is also the founder of Inspired by Marica, an online blog created to inspire readers to continually attract abundance and confidence into their lives. As an interviewing contributor to Leaders in Heels, Marica hopes to provide value, inspiration and really empower those who cross her path.

In Australia, statistics show a significant increase in women in business operating as leaders at all different levels – running organisations, starting their own company (self-employed) and in prominent Government positions, for example. They are determined, courageous and successful.

Whilst there has been a steady increase in women in high ranking positions over the last 20 years, with the number of women running their own show increasing at a faster rate than men (although men still dominate the business sector) there is a long way to go. And many hills to climb.

So, what are the pitfalls this dedicated army of entrepreneurs might meet along the way that may prevent them from enjoying a long-term income, future-proofing old age, contributing to the economy and getting on-going job satisfaction?

Eventually we should aim to stop referring to ‘women’ entrepreneurs, but simply note there are segments of people within the population who are entrepreneurial and whose gender is no longer of interest.
Source: (www.pmc.gov.au)

Am I good enough?

Self-doubt, uncertainty, trepidation and a lack of up-to-date awareness of the challenges one might face, are all part of the business culture, particularly in the early days when your working world isn’t full of clarity, and goals are hard to reach. These feelings are natural when we launch into the unknown. Too many women allow them to determine what they do, on a day-to-day basis.

Inequality has left women on the back burner, and often our greatest inhibitor to success is fear. We allow ourselves to be plagued by thoughts and ruminations that keep us disadvantaged. The huge gender pay inequality (recently estimated at 15.3% by the Workplace Gender Equality Agency) and the general slow career progression of women, exacerbates this fear. The current trend is to attempt to reverse this issue for a range of critical reasons, not withstanding that it is now generally acknowledged that in the workplace, women make fantastic leaders.

Ways to investigate inequality

Investigate what is meant by discrimination and explore your own prejudices
Look at values and how they influence prejudices
Explore how we can embrace and understand ‘diversity’ and define difference
Challenge assumptions and stereotyping
Research and obtain a real understanding of what inequality means (under Equality Legislation) and how it impacts daily life

Fear is the greatest enemy of confidence

A strong emotion, fear manifests in many different forms and can be both liberating and disempowering. Fear can present physically – for example, in the form of a headache or a sore back; emotionally, in the form of depression or anxiety; or mentally, causing confusion, memory loss or forgetfulness.

The fear of outcomes, the unknown and change often prevent women from achieving our goals and dreams. The key question we must ask ourselves is – why? Why is fear stopping me from doing what I really want? What thoughts, emotions or feelings are preventing me from striving to take actions that will help me achieve my dreams?

Reflect on your success. Look at what you achieve. There is so much you do well already. Appreciate those things, discuss them with close friends or family, and start to believe in YOU! These small changes and realisations will, over time, build confidence, courage and self-belief, and leave fear behind.

There is very little you cannot achieve if you put your mind to it.

What does it mean to be empowered as a woman?

The words ‘empowerment’ and ‘empowered’ feature regularly in everyday discourse. They’re used in government, in the office, in the media, in conversations with friends – but what is empowerment? What does it mean to be empowered?

Empowerment is all about confidence and strength. Being realistic about your strengths and areas for improvement. It’s about knowing how to set realistic goals and fulfil your potential, and to make intelligent choices, so you can be in control of your life. It’s about knowing yourself and the positive impact you can make in your life and those around you in everyday decisions, situations and actions.

Personal empowerment is about being the best version of ourselves, so we can achieve the goals that are most important to us, on an individual basis, and feel good about who we are and what we do. It is a sense of personal contentment and the ability to ‘back yourself’ with confidence.

Key factors to becoming personally empowered as a woman

Know yourself

We all have strengths and weaknesses. By recognising your strengths, you can amplify them to work in your favour. In the same way, by acknowledging your areas for improvement, you can identify how to upskill or improve in the areas where you don’t naturally do so well. With a little help, advice and encouragement, everything can be learned.

Be confident in your abilities

Confidence can be selective with its appearances. Many successful business women appear to be confident at work, but aren’t always in their personal lives, or vice versa.

Confidence can be developed in both situations with training and practice – for example, a nervous public speaker will build confidence with every presentation they give, as their skills improve and they see their audiences’ response. Similarly, a person who shies away from conflict can learn skills to deal with challenging situations and conversations, go into them prepared and come out feeling a sense of accomplishment, which in turn, builds confidence. A person lacking confidence in their abilities at work, but pushes themselves to speak up and make suggestions in meetings, will grow in confidence as their ideas are positively received by their colleagues.

Confidence starts with belief in yourself and grows by ‘doing’ – putting yourself out there, travelling alone, standing up and saying what you think, doing things you may initially not be comfortable with – these all help to build the confidence that you can do anything you set your mind to.

Set SMART goals, design your plan and stick to it

Empowerment comes from first knowing what you want to achieve, either in business or in your personal life, and making the right choices to be successful. Setting SMART goals can help. SMART is a well-used goal-setting acronym in business coaching. It means getting Specific about what you want to achieve, making sure your goals are Measurable and Attainable, that they are Relevant to you and Timely for what you want to achieve. Once you’ve set your goals, develop a clear strategy to achieve them and stick to it!

Stand your ground

Be assertive in how you communicate with others – at work, home and in life overall. Don’t back down when you believe in something. Learn the difference between being aggressive and being assertive; they are fundamentally different. Assertion is when you confidently stand up for yourself and what you believe in, without attacking or disrespecting others.

It’s easier to stand your ground if you learn good communication skills – active listening, being empathetic and asking open-ended questions are a good start. Build resilience – strive for your goals and don’t be discouraged when setbacks arrive (as they always will), but instead learn from them, stand up and keep going. Don’t worry about what other people say about you – listen to constructive feedback, but only action those which will have a positive impact on your journey and fit with your goals and plan.

Stay positive

Be optimistic. Research indicates optimistic people tend to be more successful in life overall. Love your life, love yourself and enjoy the ride. Claim your successes and enjoy your achievements – little or big, claim what you do well and be proud of who you are and what you achieve.

Finally…

Becoming personally empowered is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Allow yourself to make mistakes and celebrate successes. Remember, nothing great in life is achieved without passion and courage. Passion, to have the raw energy to achieve what it is you want, and courage to understand that fear, uncertainty and trepidation will try to stop you and make you falter.

Strong women go out and get what they want in life. They are brave and courageous, and are dedicated to their cause or belief.

Caryn Walsh is a renowned international leadership and team development specialist, psychotherapist and executive coach. She develops boards, leaders and teams at all levels across three continents. The Empowering Women to Thrive initiative helps women gain the skills and opportunities they need to thrive, through women’s retreats, seminars, monthly webinars, training programs, an annual conference and a soon-to-launch 9-stage online ‘Empowering Women to Thrive’ Program for women to access anywhere, anytime.

Having held a multitude of different jobs, ranging from translator and language teacher, to massage therapist, fitness instructor and coach, I often found myself in workplaces and under working conditions that made me vow I would never do these jobs again.

Today I am – among other things – a Joy of Business facilitator, which has helped me combine all my aforementioned skills and allowed me to have a sense of fulfillment and more fun than ever.

Get clarity about what are you missing in your job, which factors account for unhappiness and which of these depend on you and which depend on others. In the situations where you cannot change other people’s behaviour, look at what you can change in your attitude that might make a difference.

Here are a few suggestions on how to be happier in the job you have.

Finding emotional happiness

Are you having expectations of your job that should be reserved for other areas in your life?

For instance, I found myself expecting my colleagues to behave like family or friends, and would subconsciously be very concerned about our emotional interactions. As soon as I realised I was doing this, life became much easier as I readjusted my expectations to an appropriate and healthy level.

Where are you having expectations of your job that are not truly job-related?

Do you not get the recognition you think you deserve?

This used to be a big issue for me, because even when I was being praised I felt that now I was under pressure to always provide at least a 100% performance, or that I wasn’t being praised for the right things.

I suggest making a habit of mentally “patting yourself on the back” for anything you have accomplished and really acknowledging yourself, as you are the only one who knows what your small and big accomplishments and victories are.

Do you feel you are not being seen as a human being?

Acknowledge the contribution you are to the company and your colleagues, not only professionally, but as a human being. Realise that you do have a choice around how you show up and figure out how to bring more of the ‘real you’ to work so you feel comfortable and fulfilled in the workplace.

What energy can you bring into the workplace that would make it more enjoyable for not just your colleagues, but yourself too?

Are you overly affected when your colleagues are in a bad mood?

Don’t go into trying to “fix it“ and realise that whatever is going on for them, it has nothing to do with you.

If you choose to remain unaffected by other people’s mood swings and just let the emotional intensity go through, and past you, while still being open and friendly (as you would with a child throwing a tantrum),they might be able to see a different perspective as well.

Does the general workplace atmosphere get you down?

Identify what you don’t like about your work or workplace and brainstorm ways to make the experience a better one. It could be suggesting a weekly lunch with co-workers or a physical space for meditation in the office. Whatever your ideas are, speak up and suggest it. Even if they don’t accept or actualise your idea as is, it could open up new possibilities.

Finding happiness in your tasks

Do you find yourself procrastinating when it comes to tasks you don’t like?

How about trying a simple trick: If you have to do some less-than-favourite tasks, first think of something you really love doing. And then apply that energy to the task at hand. Be curious. Ask yourself: How can I do this so it would be fun for me?

Do you feel overwhelmed and under constant stress to perform to a deadline?

As a translator I am very familiar with this and have found the following tweaks get me out of the rut. As far as your schedule allows it, see which tasks feel easiest to do at any given moment, and start with these. This gets you into an “easy mode” which you can maintain while gradually increasing the complexity level, and soon you will find yourself doing the things you had considered less easy, with more ease. Also, accomplishing tasks well before the deadline (even small ones) can give you a sense of space and relief, whenever possible.

Finding happiness generally

Be grateful

It may sound old, but counting your blessings is the first step to get you back in a positive vein. First of all – being unhappy in our job means you do have a job to begin with.

Find 5 things, every night, you are grateful for about your job. Open yourself up to what you like about your job and figure out if there is a way to do more of that and less of what you don’t. Then, realise that you DO have a choice – if all the signs are for you to find a new job, start looking for a new one, while still being grateful for your current job to set the course for a fresh start.

Find something you love doing outside of work that is fun and easy to do

Find hobbies or activities that you love doing so much, you could spend all day doing them. Bring that energy to your workplace and look where you can make even small changes to brighten up your day.

To sum it up – begin to realise you are not a victim to your circumstances or a robot, but a multifaceted personality that can bring a different spark to any work environment. Do more of what you love, in and outside of work – and learn to love what you do.

What would it take for you to tune into your “happy vibe” more and more often until it becomes a new habit?

Corinna Kaebel is a professional interpreter, communicator, coach and mentor. Being fluent in English, German and Russian allows her to travel the globe extensively to teach, coach and interpret. Corinna loves being on the road, exploring new places and working with people from all different cultures and backgrounds. Her number one goal is to inspire, support and help people to show up with more of themselves intact and to navigate their own life journey with more ease, grace and glory. Corinna is a Joy of Business facilitator, a specialty program from personal development organisation Access Consciousness.

Allow me to set the scene. You’re sitting at your desk, staring at an ever-growing number of items on your list of assignments, knowing you should be working diligently to check them off, but you just can’t seem to get in the right headspace to carry out your tasks. We’ve all been there. There are a slew of tips out there to help you get back on the right mental track to crush your workload, but I’ve put together seven of the best immediate solutions that will make for the most productive hour of work you’ve ever had.

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