Karen Gately Archives

The beliefs we choose to hold about ourselves, our circumstances, our work, the future and our ability to influence that future unquestionably define the outcomes we achieve in life, including at work.

Seven beliefs that impact upon our ability to build a successful career are the subject of this article. These beliefs are those that have had the greatest influence on my own career as well as those of many other people I’ve met or observed in business and life. Successful people often describe these beliefs, examples of which I will share below.Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else

1. Believe you create your own reality

What we choose to think, feel and ultimately do, defines the reality we create. Choosing to believe life is outside of your control and success a matter of luck will only lead to a sense of helplessness and a life built on chance. As Anais Nin so eloquently said, “Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.” Dreaming about our future and choosing to act to make those dreams come true is fundamental to success.

2. Believe in what you are doing

Choosing to work in a job or pursue a career that has little meaning for you is unlikely to see you thrive. As Richard Branson said, “There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” When we love what we do and believe it matters our spirit is energised becoming the fuel of our success. To quote one of my favourite businesswomen Oprah Winfrey “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” If you are struggling to get out of bed, let alone thrive at work, start by asking yourself whether or not you believe in what you are doing.

3. Believe you are capable

Being aware of and respecting our capabilities means we are more likely to apply them when needed. Doubting what we are capable of can cause us to hesitate and miss opportunities that come along. This is especially true when we are asked to step outside of our comfort zone and try new things we haven’t done before. In that moment choosing to believe we can succeed is critical to the next choice that must follow – to give it a go. As inspiring businesswoman Alice Foote MacDougall said, “It is the small doubts of timid souls that accomplish their ruin. It is the narrow vision, the fear and trembling hesitation, that constitute defeat.”

4. Believe in your potential

Limiting self-belief is the most common reason I observe for people living a less than fulfilling work life. As Brian Tracy said “The outer limit of your potential is determined solely by your own beliefs and your own confidence in what you think is possible.” Why not you? While there are many things you are likely to need to learn and capabilities you need to develop in order to achieve ambitious goals, choose to believe that you as much as the next person are capable of finding the way to succeed.

5. Believe you will overcome challenge

It’s inevitable that we will go through times in our careers that are challenging or frustrating. Feeling stuck in a role or stage of career can cause the most driven among us to give up the fight and settle for second best. As Michael Jordan said, “If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Keep striving knowing that only you can change the circumstances you find yourself in. Avoid the trappings of a victim mentality. Yes life can be challenging but our belief that we are ultimately the masters of our own destiny is essential to overcoming the obstacles life can throw in our way.

6. Believe you can learn

It’s natural that at various stages of your career you won’t have all of the knowledge, skills or experience you need to take the next steps. Too often I observe people plateau in their careers because they believe stepping up to the next level of contribution seems beyond their reach. These people choose to believe that they have reached their limits and doubt their ability to learn and grow further. While some things will take greater time or efforts its critical that we first choose to believe we can grow. As Pablo Picasso said, “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”

7. Believe its OK to be YOU

Having the courage to be authentically who you are is essential to success. Of course our ability to build healthy relationships with the people we work with matters, but if that comes as the expense of being true to ourselves, it’s not worth it. You are entirely unlikely to thrive if you choose to believe you have to hide away behind a façade. Too often I meet people acting out what they believe other people expect them to be. They struggle to ‘fall in line’ and behave within the safe boundaries of conventional thinking an expectations. You will never bring your full potential if you are scared to bring your full self. A Judy Garland said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

Photo credit: Scania Group via photopin cc

Karen Gately

Karen is a highly-regarded author, speaker, advisor and educator in the field of human performance and leadership. She brings a fresh and down to earth approach, advocating a methodology focused on leveraging both talent and energy to drive great results. She is passionate about guiding women to reach their full potential and to step up to the challenges of the business world.

Karen founded HR consultancy Ryan Gately in 2006, after 8 years as Human Resources Director – Asia Pacific with The Vanguard Group. She is the author of two leadership titles, The Corporate Dojo and The People Manager’s Toolkit (Wiley, 2013). Her approach is deeply rooted in the 25 years spent training and teaching karate. She was the youngest person in Shukokai karate awarded a 1st Dan black belt at age 14 and won multiple state, national and international titles.

How much do you love yourself? How willing are you to answer that question for yourself let alone other people?

It’s a sad reality for many western cultures that people are criticised for daring to love who they are. Modesty and self-deprecation are considered virtues in the minds of many people, none more so than women. Self-deprivation is commonly considered a necessary sacrifice. Some women even wear as a badge of honor for their choice to put themselves last in all circumstances.Have the courage to accept you are not perfect and few people expect you to be. Have the courage to ignore the views of people who set unreasonable expectations and dish out harsh criticism

The 25 years I spent training, teaching and competing in the martial arts taught me the importance of having a strong sense of self worth. It’s every karate teacher’s job to help their students develop a deep sense of love, respect and appreciation for who they are, what they are capable of and how much they matter. People who love themselves typically want to live and have a lot to live for. Enriched and inspired by life, these are the people most likely to choose to fight for survival if their life is under threat. They are also the mostly likely to strive to thrive.

There is no question the fondness we feel about ourselves is a powerful source of positive energy that fuels our spirit. Equally an absence of self-love can quickly drain our spirit and lead to behaviours that undermine our success. Our ability to respect and love ourselves has a profound impact on our happiness and, ultimately, on our success—not just at work but in all areas of our lives.

So, what are the essential steps needed to build our sense of self-worth?

#1 Have courage

Have the courage to know that loving yourself is not only OK it’s a necessary ingredient for a happy and fulfilled life. Loving yourself isn’t the same as being arrogant or conceited; don’t be afraid that people will perceive you as having an inflated opinion of yourself. Have the courage to ignore your critics – look past their unfounded beliefs and inaccurate perceptions.

Have the courage to change how you feel about yourself. Choose to be proud of who you are and openly recognise your strengths and achievements for what they are. Have the courage to accept you are not perfect and few people expect you to be. Have the courage to ignore the views of people who set unreasonable expectations and dish out harsh criticism.

#2 Commit to creating a happier life

We all have two voices in our minds that compete for our attention. One that tells us we are OK and the other that tells us we’re not. When the ‘I’m OK’ voice in your mind is too loud your ego becomes inflated. When your ‘I’m not OK’ voice shouts louder your sense of self worth and capacity to love yourselves is repressed.

Choose which of these two voices you give power to. Commit to challenging the thoughts that go through your mind – choose those that uplift your spirit and build your sense of self worth and belief. When you are able to choose your thoughts and feelings you will learn to love yourself fully.

#3 Take a dose of self-administered tough love

This is not the time to take open, honest constructive feedback from other people. Leave other people’s opinions with them and ask yourself what your most valuable qualities and talents are as well as how you need to improve. Choose for yourself the aspects you are proud of and those you know need to change. Honestly acknowledge your shortcomings but be kind to yourself. None of us are perfect and we all deserve the opportunity to learn from our experiences, including our mistakes.

#4 Choose to have self-respect

How often do you criticise yourself to other people? “I’m so stupid” is an expression I hear all too often. Many of us are quick to blame ourselves for the things that go wrong and fail to demand fair treatment from others. Thriving in life demands that you set high behavioural standards for yourself and other people. Be clear about how you expect other people to engage with you no matter who they are. Respect yourself enough to strive to be the best possible version of yourself you can be.

#5 Appreciate your talents

Take the time to reflect on all of the things that you are fantastic at. Allow yourself to be completely honest with yourself and appreciate the ways in which you are able to contribute, make a difference and influence the world around you. We all have strengths we bring and our recognition and appreciation of them is an important step toward leveraging our full potential. Unless you are able to see and believe in your own talents, you can’t step up and give things a go.

#6 Create Boundaries

Lots of people are quick, and at times all too eager to point out our faults and failings. These people are also slow to compliment us on our achievements or thank us for our contributions. Choose carefully whose opinions you allow to impact the perceptions you hold about yourself. It’s critical that even in the face of strong opinion and criticism that you decide for yourself what the truth is. Take a firm stance against those who willfully or irresponsibly act in ways that can harm your sense of self worth. At times it may be necessary to walk away from people who undermine your self-esteem and appreciation.

Karen Gately