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self-esteem

Look around you and you will see examples everywhere of the extraordinary things people are capable of achieving. We all have unique gifts and are capable of achieving amazing things if we allow ourselves to. Reaching the peaks of our potential takes both recognising for ourselves what we are great at and allowing other people to see what we offer.

It saddens me how often I meet people who are blind to the depth of their own potential or are afraid to be seen. The emotions that hold people back from sharing their talents with the world are many and complex. Among the most common I observe is a fear of being judged or ridiculed. There is no doubt our well-known ‘tall poppy’ syndrome undermines the willingness many Australians feel regarding standing out from the crowd.

Here are five of the most important things you can do to stand in your spotlight and showcase what’s great about you:

1. Choose to thrive

Deciding to thrive is a critical first step toward making it happen. Wanting to be the best possible version of yourself and achieve everything you are capable of will help you overcome barriers to your success. Reflect on how much happier and fulfilled you life would be if you had the courage to do the things you really want to, unconstrained by limiting belief or fear.

2. Appreciate your talents

We all have strengths, and our recognition and appreciation of them is an important step toward leveraging our potential. Take the time to reflect on all of the things you are great at. Allow yourself to be completely honest about the ways you are able to contribute, make a difference and influence the world around you. Unless you see and believe in your own talents, you will not likely step up and give things a go.

We all have unique gifts and are capable of achieving amazing things if we allow ourselves to

3. Recognise your fears

Fears about what other people think and how they will react are common reasons people hesitate to stand in their spotlight. Understand how fear holds you back from pursing the things that matter most to you. What role are you allowing fear to play in dictating the decisions you make about the career or life directions you choose?

4. Be proud of yourself

Choose to be proud of who you are, and recognise your strengths and achievements for what they are. Being proud and willing to showcase what you are capable of isn’t the same as being arrogant or conceited. Don’t be afraid that people will perceive you as having an inflated opinion of yourself. Have the courage to ignore your critics – look past their unfounded beliefs and inaccurate perceptions.

5. Let go of perfectionism

Realise and accept that you are not perfect and few people expect you to be. Choose to ignore the views of people who set unreasonable expectations and dish out harsh criticism. Your best endeavours are all you or any other reasonable person can expect. Give things a go knowing it’s OK to fail – all we need to do is get back up and try again.

Featured photo credit: theglobalpanorama via photopin cc

Karen Gately
Karen Gately is a leadership and people-management specialist and a founder of Ryan Gately, a specialist HR consultancy practice. She is also the author of The People Manager’s Toolkit: A Practical guide to getting the best from people and The Corporate Dojo: Driving extraordinary results through spirited people. For more information visit www.karengately.com.au or contact info@karengately.com.au

At the start of each year, many of us set New Year resolutions around being healthy and happy. We all articulate this goal in our own way. Some of us want to reduce our waistline or the number on the scales. Others want to beat running times or increase strength. Many want to eat less junk food. And as a client of mine recently put it, some of us want to experience more “ugly laugh” moments.

Then we go back to work. Back to school. Back to our “To Do” list. Back to keeping up with the busyness of our world. Life gets in the way. Before we know it, it’s time to set New Year resolutions again.

My wish for you is that this year is different. That you make life-changing traction with your health and wellness goals. I have suggested 8 steps below to help you make this happen.

1. Identify how you want to feel and what you want to gain

We often think about how we want to be different. How we DON’T want to feel. What we want to LOSE. I encourage you to flip this on its head this year. Think about how you DO want to feel. What you want to GAIN. The person you want to be. The life you want to live.

Write this down as an affirmation or intention (e.g., “I want to feel confident, radiant, and energetic.”) – and put it in a prominent place where you will see it often. Then make a conscious effort to make choices based on this affirmation or intention.

Think about how you DO want to feel. What you want to GAIN. The person you want to be

2. Write positive and feelings-based goals

We need to feel connected to and inspired by our goals in order to achieve them. Goals that have a negative tone or are focused on a loss are generally not inspiring or motivating. They can be easy to: let go of; view as too hard; or make us feel like we are missing out on enjoyable things.

How often have you set a goal like “lose 10kg” or “quit smoking”? Even if this goal was important for your health, has it generally worked for you? If not, I encourage you write goals based on how you want to feel and what you want to gain this year.

Positively worded and feeling-based goals like “To be the most vibrant, happy, and energetic I’ve ever been” or “To truly love, accept and appreciate my body and myself” can put us in a better headspace to be in action toward them. It is important to take ample time to reflect on your goals and articulate them in a way that will uplift and inspire you. We want them to make you smile. To make you feel the promise of an incredible life.

I encourage you write goals based on how you want to feel and what you want to gain this year

3. Note your starting point

Once we identify a goal, we often impatiently want to achieve it already. We race out of the gates, only to get exhausted half way around the track, and give up until (or if) a second wind comes.

Let’s do things differently this year. Start slowly, and first take note of where we currently sit with our goals. Identify our current feelings, behaviours, choices, and triggers.

For health and wellness goals, for example, you might:

Keep a food, movement, energy, and feelings diary to identify current behaviours and patterns
Keep a diary noting your negative thoughts, what triggers them, and what you do to ‘respond’ to them
Record your current fitness milestones
Do a wellbeing inventory (e.g., Are you due for a preventive health check? How many hours are you sleeping?)

Recording your starting point will help you see your progress in the weeks and months ahead. Taking the time to stop and ‘observe’ can also reveal ‘Ah ha!’ moments about how you can successfully move forward.

4. Identify your Personal Psychological Resources (PPRs)

We all have inner strengths and resources that help us get through challenging times and help propel us towards our goals. When we know what these inner strengths and resources are, we can more easily draw on them and use them to our advantage. Tips to help identify your PPRs include, thinking about:

What your best traits and qualities are – and asking others to tell you what they think they are too
How you’ve historically got through difficult periods in your life. What inner strengths did you draw on to get through these times?
When you have responded to a difficult experience or conversation in a constructive way. What did you do that was constructive?
What you have achieved in your life to date. What inner strengths did you draw on?

Once we identify a goal, we often impatiently want to achieve it already. We race out of the gates, only to get exhausted half way around the track

5. Create a vision

Now that we know our starting point and our PPRs, it can help to think ahead about where we want to be. What is our vision for the future? What would be the dream outcome? How would we feel when we’ve reached the goal?

Taking time to reflect and journal on this – or to create an inspiration board around it – can really help us feel connected to the goal and how life will feel when we’ve achieved it. It also gives us an ‘end point’ to move toward.

6. Regularly write action steps to lovingly step toward your goal

Decide on what intervals (e.g., weekly, fortnightly) you’re going to take to plan your action steps. Then sit down during those points and write what steps you’re going to take during that period. No matter how big your goal is, if you take loving steps toward it, each day or week, you’ll be amazed at how much you can achieve.

It is important to be kind and gentle with yourself during this process. No matter how motivated you are, most goals wont happen overnight. Most won’t just involve consistent steps forward. You will sometimes step backward, not progress as quickly as you like, and feel unmotivated or impatient. During these times, return to your vision and how you want to feel – and remember to treat yourself with loving kindness.

No matter how motivated you are, most goals wont happen overnight

7. Focus on the present and your vision of the future, rather than on the past

It is important to reflect on life and to draw on the lessons we have learnt from past experiences. However, we can often get stuck in the past – which is not always the most motivating or inspiring place. When you find yourself here, try to focus forward. Think about your goal. How you want to feel. Your vision for the future. Then identify what you can do now to take a loving step toward that future.

8. Get an Accountability Partner or Partners

Enlist help. Surround yourself with people who will support you, inspire you, and hold you accountable to your action steps. Depending on your goal, this might include a life coach, personal trainer, psychologist, or health professional. Ensure your accountability partner is someone that makes you feel safe – but who will push you.

I hope these steps help you in achieving your goals this year. As a final note, make sure you celebrate the little and big wins along the way!

Featured Photo Credit: Nickay3111 via Compfight cc

Naomi Arnold
Naomi is an award winning Business + Life Passion Coach, writer, speaker and human rights activist. She works with big hearted, creative and mission driven people who want to make a difference in the world. Through her coaching, writing, and award nominated Freebies Library at www.naomiarnold.com, she helps people embrace their uniqueness and live their version of a passion-fueled and purposeful life.

I was deeply affected by the passing of Robin Williams in August of this year.

Having suffered from depression myself over the years, I can appreciate the feeling. It reminded me of his legacy, the huge library of films he has, and of one in particular.

Probably the most prolific of all his movies was “Dead Poets Society”. There is a very famous quote from this movie:

Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary

It rings true for us all. What does it take to make your life extraordinary?

I think it goes a little like this:

Know you are extraordinary first and foremost – you DO NOT have to earn it.
Clean up your past, make peace with those you have wronged, and find a way to exist with your family in harmony cause who you are as a person is who you are in business.
Know what you love to do, really know it, not just what you think, but what truly lights you up.
Find something that you are really good at and stick with it till you master it.
Don’t let anyone tell you who you are and what you like, be true to yourself.
Stand up for yourself, don’t ever be a victim. Take responsibility for everything in your life.
Know that when you aren’t getting what you want, its because you are resisting something – find out what it is and heal it or it will be with you on the journey of your life.

Those are some of what I have found help make us extraordinary, over many many years of study, coaching, working and applying all of it. Sometimes we can’t find it for ourselves and we need a little help.

I recently created a dynamite webinar where I shared the blueprint I created that helps us find our own version of extraordinary, another way to say it is ‘our bliss’, or ‘what we were meant for’.

Find what You were Meant for & Design a Career around It is all about connecting the purpose to the career – that is where you are in that sweet spot, the bliss spot.

Our time here is not unlimited, we have to grab every opportunity to find what we were meant to do. Remember your bliss is your responsibility.

If you are seeking a career that brings you bliss, have been made redundant, going through a mid life crisis, feeling stuck or are not sure what to do next, this webinar is going to help you.

Check it out at https://vanessajane410.leadpages.net/find-your-bliss-webinar-
replay/

Hope you enjoy it!

Do you know that you are brimming with dormant, untapped talent and creativity, and that you already possess everything you need to charter your own magnificence? It’s absolutely true!

Vanessa Jane is an Entrepreneurial Muse & Creative Strategist, assisting people find their life’s calling through sessions at www.vanessajane.com. She holds a Diploma of Marketing, (Arts & Entertainment), a Diploma of Social Science (Psychology), is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming/Advanced Neurological Repatterning, and is a Master of hypnosis.

Featured Photo Credit: messycupcakes via Compfight cc

“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment” Lao Tzu

One of the upsides of being a Behavioural Profiling Consultant is not only do I learn about how others tick, I learn lots about myself. I have learnt why I do things, what I’m good at and not so good at, and, more importantly, what I need to do to improve in those areas where I feel I need to develop.

I now understand why I’m so tired when doing particular tasks (and it’s not because I had a late night!) and why, at other times, I’m in the groove and kicking goals left, right and centre.

So I thought I would share with you a few tips on how to develop yourself in areas you feel you’re not so strong in but would like to be. I’m a spontaneous, gut-feel, big-picture person and at times have trouble with detailed work, so let’s start there.

To be more detailed:

Read philosophy, history and other books explaining logical processes
Collect all possible data relating to every task you do and every decision you need to make
When ready to make a decision, delay making it till tomorrow
Go back in time and analyse why things happened

To be more outgoing:

Do something new at least once a week, like go to a totally new social environment, or wear something colourful and new
Regularly change things in your office
Make an effort to call at least three new people every day
In large social gatherings, force yourself to start discussions of new topics and try to discuss with every participant
Make your daily habits include as little routines as possible
Make sure people, no matter where you are, notice you
Ask your colleagues to give you topics of which you need to make a 5 minute speech

To be more forthright:

Continuously learn new and practical ways of doing things. Select anything you like as long as it is useful and goal-oriented. It doesn’t matter if you have no idea how you should do it.
In meetings, focus on agenda and meeting goals. Make yourself a rule that you never leave a meeting room without an action plan for you and the rest of the participants. The plan needs to be concrete and include a schedule.
Seek out situations when you can exercise these new ways of doing things – do not just plan – do.
Observe the positive side of forthright people and repeat what they did
Ask for feedback from these people.

To be more calm and steady:

Keep a diary and make notes at the end of each day of what happened
After each meeting, review all the material & topics covered
Spend long periods in meetings without participating, just listening
Try to learn at least two possible risk factors in every new idea
Try not to show excitement when you get excited about something
Always come up with at least one optional plan
Make an effort to do things as others ask you to do them

I’m a great one to say, focus on your strengths and outsource your weaknesses where possible. You might need to adjust your management style depending on the situation. But sometimes you just need to improve your skills in particular areas – either to do the work yourself or understand how other people tick.

Good luck and let me know how you go.

Featured Photo Credit: Kris Krug via Compfight cc

Glenise Anderson
Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with coaching, training and technical writing.

Download the 8 Fail Safe Tips to Self Confidence FREE from her website at www.selfconfidentwomen.com.au

I once had a boss tell me that I was too pretty for the job. Being that I was 5’2 and 135 pounds, the supermodel career track was just slightly out of reach.

There are perceptions about “pretty” women at work, and they can be dangerous to you and your career if they are not managed appropriately.

Here are five perceptions about pretty women and work, and how to overcome them:

1. You are the office hostess.

There is a difference between being considerate and placating. Consider others always, but know that everyone in the room is capable of taking care of themselves. You are there to work, not play hostess.

2. You are just a pretty face.

You know what I’m talking about; that collective face that the conference room makes when you say something that no one else has thought of or something that makes the room LOL. Keep showing up. Keep being brave and smart and bold. Keep knocking their socks off. Don’t let their surprise stop you, let it fuel you.

3. You should dress like your grandmother.

You should not. You should dress like you. You should however consider your audience and the brand you are building. Common advice is to dress for the job you want. Chances are the job you want is held by a man twice your age. A blue button down shirt and black slacks may not be your thing. Dress as smart as you are. Every. Damn. Day. Don’t give them a reason.

4. You aren’t serious about your career.

But, you are – so they are wrong. Just because you are pretty, doesn’t mean you are waiting to be rescued or taken care of. You can be pretty and fierce, determined, focused, and ambitious. Be serious and pretty and awesome. Prove you’re there for the long-haul. Show up like every day is an interview.

Dress as smart as you are. Every. Damn. Day. Don’t give them a reason

5. You have a relentlessly high self-regard.

By golly, I hope you do. I hope you see yourself for the whole person that you are: Kind, loving, generous, whole, and full of life. I hope you wake up every day and know that you are enough, just the way you are. I hope you carry yourself like you are worthy.

What I know though is that you have insecurities and you are self-conscious. I know you worry about what people think of you and how you are perceived. I know you question your nose and your hips and your ideas and your essence. Smile. Be open. Be honest. Share your authentic self. Let people in to see all of who you are…not just a pretty face.

Featured photo credit: pennstatenews via photopin cc

Tara Ashcraft, MSEC

Tara is a change expert and master coach who is excited about helping women live the lives they have imagined, and inspiring them to imagine big, bold, brave, beautiful lives. She has over ten years of experience in learning and development in both private and public sectors. She’s equal parts psychology, pom-poms, pixie dust, and possibly umbrella drinks. Connect with Tara at www.mimosamojo.com or www.facebook.com/mimosamojo

As I’m all for empowering the female race in our business (and life) ventures, I want to share with you my 4 tips to rock any job interview, in the hopes that no matter which category you fall into below or what job you’re interviewing for, you’ll not only knock the socks off your prospective employer, you’ll feel fabulous in the process like real ‘leaders in heels’ do.

Having worked in the corporate world for many years before making the giant leap into the entrepreneurial world as a Health and Life coach, I’m no stranger to job interviews and the methodical, and sometimes callous, approach employers take to find a suitable candidate.

When it comes to impending job interviews I have noticed people typically fall into one of three categories:

Those who work themselves into a frantic frenzy resembling something of a time bomb about to explode
Those who become eager beavers who can’t wait to sing their praises and utilise their “communication skills”
Those who manage to keep their cool and look at the interviewing process the same as any other life experience; an opportunity for personal development growth (and not the end of the world if things don’t work out)

Without intending to ‘toot my horn,’ fortunately (and gratefully) I fall into the third category and have almost always been offered the job I have interviewed for.

This isn’t because I’m better, more knowledgeable or more skilled than others; I put it down to a culmination of tactics I have learned along the way and have perfected with time.

Here below are my 4 tips to rock any job interview:

1. Preparation is key

I’m not talking about the infamous interview preparation most recruiters or job websites suggest whereby you create a S.W.O.T analysis of yourself or lay out your outfit the night before (although these can help). I’m talking about internal preparation; mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.

Mental – Spend some time before your interview visualising yourself rocking that interview, being a calm, confident and successful woman who is going to get the job, and most importantly someone who isn’t pinning all their hopes and dreams on this one job.

Just as a date can smell someone’s desperation to settle down and start a family, so too can prospective employers smell the desperation of doe-eyed candidates.

You want to appear enthusiastic and grateful for their consideration, but under no circumstances do you want to come across as a lovesick puppy.

Physical – If there is one sure-fire way that makes me feel naturally high on life and ooze confidence, getting my endorphins pumping is it. If you have time to move your body before your interview whether that’s going for a run, doing weights or a boxing session, schedule it in.

Your prospective employer (and body) will notice.

Emotional/Spiritual – Meditate; it will centre you and calm your nerves. Allow 10 minutes before your interview to spend some time in peace and quiet to focus on your breath and nothing else. As you inhale imagine yourself breathing in a radiant gold ball of light and as you exhale, image that ball of light spreading over every inch of your body bathing you in pure love.

2. Confidence is king

There’s a well-known saying in the blogging world, which is “content is king”, but in this instance I’d like to amend that to “confidence is king.”

Confidence: have it, own it, embody it.

Even if you don’t feel it 100%, ‘fake it till you make it.’ Confidence goes a long way when it comes to rocking an interview and knocking the socks of your future boss.

Remember that whilst an employer is assessing you … you too get to assess them and work out if their company/employees/brand values/culture etc is the right fit for you

3. Remember it’s a two-way street

Being given the opportunity to interview for a fabulous job is something to be grateful for yes, however, remember an interview is a two-way street.

Not only is the company in question giving you the opportunity to work for and earn a paycheck from them, you are giving them the opportunity to have your unique experience, skill set and personality as part of their team; making a difference in their lives also.

Remember that whilst an employer is assessing you and seeing if you are the right fit for them, you too get to assess them and work out if their company/employees/brand values/culture etc is the right fit for you.

This isn’t about being arrogant nor high and mighty, but the interviewing process is just as much about them as it is about you.

If you can learn to look at an interview like this you are going to feel a lot more relaxed throughout the whole process and it will come out in your communication.

Make them want you, not the other way around.

4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

I am a huge fan of eggs and often buy two cartons at once, but I don’t put them in the same basket as each other to ensure if I accidentally drop one, the other carton is still viable. The same principle applies with jobs interviews.

Do your best to line up a few interviews so you aren’t solely concerned with getting this one; even if this is the only job you really want.

If you go to an interview knowing you have a ‘Plan B’ and a ‘Plan C,’ you won’t be so nervous in your interview or come across as though this is your only option, and bonus, it’s not!

There’s no denying that spending time researching your prospective employer’s brand values or philosophy, ironing your clothes the night before and coming up with a few stellar questions won’t help, but harness these tips and your prospective employer will become your boss faster than you can say, “how many hours per week?”

Do you have any tips and tricks to share with us? What is your experience when it comes to interviews? Share with us in the comment below.

Featured photo credit: citirecruitment via photopin cc

Nicole Perhne – Health & Life Coaching for curious minds + creative hearts

Nicole Perhne is a Holistic Health & Life Coach, Reiki practitioner and writer. She coaches stressed, overwhelmed women who suffer from self-limiting beliefs, anxiety, depression, and those struggling with weight and body image issues.

Her mission is to empower women to fall in love with themselves by providing them with practical and effective tools to quantum leap into their heart’s true north, pursue their purpose and passion, and ultimately guide them back to self-love.

Her highly anticipated eBook ‘Peace. Love. Authenticity: 14 Ways to Come Home (to you)’ is due for release soon. Jump onboard here

Connect with her:
Website: http://nicoleperhne.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/sunshineforsoul
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NicolePerhne
Instagram: http://instagram.com/nicole_perhne